Get out my life, why dontcha babe?
Cause you don’t really need me
You just keep me hangin’ on
~ “Keep Me Hangin’ On” by the Supremes or Kim Wilde (depending on your personal preference)
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This is a season of change for me. I finally found the strength to open my hands and let go of the shards of something in my professional life that was cutting me up. The transition has been hard, but it showed me some important things.
First it showed me that I had more people who cared about me than I ever imagined. I am going to hold tight to them, and I refuse to allow a change in location to result in losing them.
Second, the tremendous sense of relief that I feel now that first big change is complete has shown me that there is a time to cut losses when the person or place just keeps hurting me. Sometimes, no matter how hard I try or how much I want it, there is nothing I am going to be able to do to make a situation better. I need to apply the "Put up with it, and you will get more of it" measuring stick to many areas of my life. If I don't want more of the effect, I should stay away from the cause to start with.
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This is a season of change for me. I finally found the strength to open my hands and let go of the shards of something in my professional life that was cutting me up. The transition has been hard, but it showed me some important things.
First it showed me that I had more people who cared about me than I ever imagined. I am going to hold tight to them, and I refuse to allow a change in location to result in losing them.
Second, the tremendous sense of relief that I feel now that first big change is complete has shown me that there is a time to cut losses when the person or place just keeps hurting me. Sometimes, no matter how hard I try or how much I want it, there is nothing I am going to be able to do to make a situation better. I need to apply the "Put up with it, and you will get more of it" measuring stick to many areas of my life. If I don't want more of the effect, I should stay away from the cause to start with.
That brings me to the third. Any relationship that is totally one-sided is probably one that should be trimmed away. If a person I consider a friend cannot bring him/herself to rejoice with me - even superficially - or extend sympathy - even in the form of a “sad” emoji -, then is there really a relationship at all? If they miss *all* the big stuff *all* the time, what even is this?
We all get busy. We all have time periods where we can’t be as connected to those we value as we would wish. I personally go through periods of social hibernation, time where the most I can manage is clicking like on a FB status. However, when it is important to another person I love, I really do try to make sure I try to make it important to me, too, even if all I can do is something small.
When there is no effort from the other side, I suspect that it’s time to call the time-of-death and go on. Currently, I have a relationship like this. I guess I was holding on because the relationship had been so important to me, at one time active and joyful and vital. Maybe it was because there was never a sense of ending, just a horrible uncertain drifting where I wondered if I should be the one to reach out again, if it were welcome, if it mattered at all, or if it were just another irritation.
For quite a long time now, I have been feeling like an inconvenience, a relic, or as Josh Ritter might have put it, “just one more rag he was dragging behind him,” and be straight damned if I’m going to put up with that. I’m nobody’s remnant.
That's the thought I'm going to keep in my mind as I try to lay this particular thing to rest. It's time to take the shears, clip what threads remain (if I can), and move away even if it hurts.
We all get busy. We all have time periods where we can’t be as connected to those we value as we would wish. I personally go through periods of social hibernation, time where the most I can manage is clicking like on a FB status. However, when it is important to another person I love, I really do try to make sure I try to make it important to me, too, even if all I can do is something small.
When there is no effort from the other side, I suspect that it’s time to call the time-of-death and go on. Currently, I have a relationship like this. I guess I was holding on because the relationship had been so important to me, at one time active and joyful and vital. Maybe it was because there was never a sense of ending, just a horrible uncertain drifting where I wondered if I should be the one to reach out again, if it were welcome, if it mattered at all, or if it were just another irritation.
For quite a long time now, I have been feeling like an inconvenience, a relic, or as Josh Ritter might have put it, “just one more rag he was dragging behind him,” and be straight damned if I’m going to put up with that. I’m nobody’s remnant.
That's the thought I'm going to keep in my mind as I try to lay this particular thing to rest. It's time to take the shears, clip what threads remain (if I can), and move away even if it hurts.
