What do you do when somebody won't lift a hand to save themselves? When they're perfectly content to go down for the third time, slip under the surface and disappear, maybe forever? How many times do you swim out, try to grab them, drag them to the shore when they fight you, or worse still, when they laugh and sing, party and dance as the ship goes down?
My heart, my very soul hurt. I don't know what to do anymore. Everything I do feels useless. I'm surrounded by pockets of indifference, gallows humor, crudeness, and outright cruelty in an emergency of epic proportions. I feel like I'm trapped in this old, old nightmare I used to have where I was inside a burning building full of people who I was trying to alert to the danger but none of whom would listen....
As always, it's not every single thing in my day to day that is causing this. I need to focus on those bright pockets, those shining stars, but I am so distressed over the other, the lost ones, right now, that I can't see anything else. I'm so tired. Just tired, tired, tired. I wish this was just over for awhile.
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And then you said.....