Nightmares

I wasn't kidding when I said I would have nightmares tonight. This, however, is really going to be no different from any other night....

Lately, I've had increasingly horrible nightmares.  All the old themes are there, like some kind of hellish classic film festival in the recesses of my mind.  I lose people.  I lose places.  I lose myself.  All of it is dressed up in the majestic glory of a mind too prone to imagination and well-fed with science fiction and fantasy monsters.

I wish I could sleep one night and not wake up, heart pounding, reaching out for...whatever it is....  I don't know what it would take to do that. I am tired of staring into the green glare of my clock as I try to make my mind comprehend what time and place I'm in.

It doesn't seem to matter what I do just before bed, either.  I can read the happiest, fluffiest stuff in the world and still wind up in that bombed-out, demon-ridden landscape that apparently hides just behind my eyelids.

It's time to head back there for tonight.  Maybe tomorrow I'll have a different story to tell.  It would make a nice change.