Inside a Migraine

I am actively migraining right now, and I'm going to try to write about it.  This may not make much sense.  This attack started this morning, and I finally broke down and took a Maxalt about fourth period.  It put up the necessary glass-block wall, and I observed the world from an uncomfortable distance the rest of the day, constantly pressing through to try to interact with people, feeling that horrible delay with everything as I tried to make my brain function. 

Once 7th period was gone, I left the lights off.  It was bliss.  Light is my enemy. I left the room dark and prayed for silence and stillness, leaving my stereo off and hoping not to have to talk to anyone too much.  I graded papers until it got too dark to see, and then I ventured back out into the world of overhead illumination. 

Immediate tension and pain, like a vise tightening inside my skull.  I wanted to cry.  I think I can feel the nerves inside my eyes leading into my brain.  I stumbled out to my car and started the drive home.  Every time the horrible headlights of another car struck my windshield, every time I drove underneath a streetlight, I yelled and wished for a dark hole I could pull in on top of myself.  Those hellish blue headlights were like someone literally stabbing me through the eye.  Halos like some kind of special effects from a video surrounded every light source.  They would have been beautiful had there not been that pain and dissociation from everything that accompanied them.

When I got home, the pain had dulled down to a softly pulsing drone.  I microwaved the only food that didn't sound like something that would make me throw up, french toast sticks, and had supper.  Everything was funny for some reason, funny and far away.  There is still a distance I can't seem to cross, a divide that separates me from my pets, my house, everything I know I need to be doing right now. 

I'm going to go to bed now.  I hope that sleep will reset my fried circuits.  Otherwise, tomorrow, Tuesday, always a crap day, is going to be a real monster.