Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Sunshine and Mountain Dew

Today, I packed up my workbag, and waiting for the grindingly slow progress of the clock hands toward 3:30. A small herd of students had sworn they were coming in to do makeup work (we're in the eleventh hour, so suddenly, everyone is in a state of panic), but nobody had shown up by 3:15, and I blew out my candle, shut down my computer, hoisted my ponderous bag, and bolted for the door.

It felt almost sinful to be leaving that early. Other teachers were still working in their classes; the sounds of the extended day students echoed in our high-ceilinged old halls. Sunlight streamed through the window so rich and so good that it almost had a taste as it flooded the central hall.

I moved down the stairs as fast as my stiff knees would allow, darted through the office, and then I was out into the parking lot. There were still cars there, and again, the feeling of doing something illicit through me. I put my PT Cruiser into reverse, rolled down my windows, cranked my Todd Agnew cd, and put the pedal down.

When I got home, again I marveled at the sheer luxury of being home in the daytime. I loosed Missy, she promptly took off to explore the privet hedge, and I got out a seldom-used plastic Adirondack chair.

Sitting beneath the bare branches of the chestnut tree in my backyard, I indulged in a Diet Mountain Dew and the first few chapters of A Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovitch. My bottle tree caught the golden afternoon sun, the windchimes rang softly, Missy and Yelldo intermittently gave me doggy kisses, and Granny's daffodils shone in Wordsworthian glory. I felt peace descend like a winged spirit, and all the tiredness that has been plaguing me for the past week melted away.

It was a brief interlude, but a vital one. I needed those peaceful moments alone at home more than I had realized. Tomorrow, when the students are apathetic, when another unreasonable demand on my time is made, I will have the soft daffodil-scented warmth of today to carry me through.

Monday, February 27, 2006

Missy

 

Here she is, at long last. It was a rainy trip to Birmingham, but other than the rain, it went very smoothly. The very first thing she did when I got out of the car was to run up, put her paws around me, and kiss me on the cheek. She's so cute and so loving!

I will get to more actual blogging soon. Now, hopefully, we can find a rhythm and routine. I'm tired, but it's a good tired. Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

The Ides of February

Whooo-hooo!!!! I got the news today that I have been accepted by one of the Pit Bull Rescue groups, and a lovely red-nose pit mix named Missy is going to become a part of my family. I have to figure out the logistics of getting her here (she's in TN, currently) and the timing (I hope Spring Break is going to be okay), but it's official!

This experience has been a mixed thing. Some of the groups I've talked to have been so kind and encouraging, even if there were barriers (mostly distance) to my adopting one of their dogs. A couple of the groups have been downright rude, though. I guess they probably have a lot of email to sort through, but when a person is legitimately trying to adopt an animal, that sincere wish should at least be acknowledged with an automated email.

Back to Missy.... She's beautiful, and the rescue society lady says she's good with other dogs and playful. I am excited for Yelldo. He has been so sedentary since Britta died. He needs a friend to play with. I think, once we get over the shock of new dog in my space, he's going to have a good time.

You can see a picture of Missy on the PBRC rescue site. Click here to go straight to Missy. You may need to scroll down a bit.

Well, I'm off to an afternoon of "dog dreaming." I am going to Wal-Mart tomorrow to start getting presents for her. It's so amazing that she's finally going to be mine!

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

eHarmony II

Well, I have entered the world of eHarmony, and I have to say that I'm still feeling a little odd about it. I have met a nice guy that I'm writing emails to, and that's a good thing, but I'm still in the weird phase of this. No funny tales to tell yet, but I'll keep everybody posted.

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Snowy Saturday

That's right...snow. We've had flurries off and on today. I can't express how odd that is to those of us who live in Mississippi. Any trace of snow is cause to press one's nose up against the window and make preparations better suited to an eight-foot blizzard than a dusting of white. Bread and milk become scarce commodities, people drive at absurd speeds, and children cling to the radios in silent prayer for those most blessed of words, "Schools are closed today." If there is even a fraction of an inch of accumulation, tiny muddy snowmen appear like mushrooms on porches, in driveways, and wherever else the meager amounts of snow can be scraped together.

My dog, Yelldo, has had a wonderful day. He has been in various stages of unconscious sprawl on the leopard print furry blanket on my couch. Every once in awhile, he rolls, opens his eyes minutely, sighs deeply, and wiggles in bliss. Even getting him to go outside to take care of the call of Nature has been an effort today. I don't much blame him.

I spent the day watching one of my favorite film noir movies, Laura. It was a good day for old movies. I also watched IU play basketball. We lost. I was proud that we came back from such a great deficit, but it was sad anyway.

After watching, I got a burst of energy and tidied some of the mess here in the house up. There's a lot I can't do until I get the flooring back in the kitchen, but the word has come that next week is the week the installers are coming. Maybe by next weekend, I'll have my washer and dryer running again and get my refridgerator out of my living room.

There's really nothing else to tell. It was just a peaceful, if cold and snowy, Saturday.

Friday, February 10, 2006

Fear and eHarmony.com

Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.
Rita May Brown

I did it. I sucked it up, typed in my credit card information, and joined eHarmony. I have a curious blend of feelings about the whole situation.

Part of me is relieved. Finally, I've gotten off my posterior and taken what will hopefully be a positive step toward finding somebody I can stand. I have good luck with finding things on the computer. After all, eBay and amazon have been good to me over the years. Whenever I've wanted something that I couldn't find locally, the magic of the internet has always come through for me.

Part of me is scared to death. What if there aren't any matches for me? What if I get an email from Neil Clark Warren saying they're refunding my money because they can't find anybody suitable? What if there ARE matches for me? I am hopeless with men. Truly, truly, hopeless. That's how I have gotten into my current situation after all.

Part of me wonders about the possibility of finding true love online. Despite the propaganda in You've Got Mail and every eHarmony TV commercial, I wonder if this is a good way to meet people.

As Eleanor Roosevelt said, "You must do the thing you think you cannot do." I am tired of just wishing for somebody, and I don't know any other step that I would be willing or able to take right now. Sooooo....here we go. Maybe it will at least provide interesting anecdotes....

Sunday, February 05, 2006

The Gentle Art of Procrastination

One thing that's good about procrastination is that you always have something planned for tomorrow.
Gil Stern

This is a record...three postings in one day. Can you tell that I have reams of papers waiting to be graded?

It's amazing how appealing all other things become when I have papers to grade. In fact, I really cannot get any work done here at home. That's the main reason I stay at school so long each day; I know that saying, "I'll do it tonight at home" is just a big lie. It's not even a good lie. Nobody else is fooled, and I certainly know myself well enough not to believe it.

Through the years, I've gotten myself into all kinds of jams because of procrastination. I'll never forget the all-important paper in grad school I neglected to even start writing until 1:00 a.m. the day it was due. I think I spent most of that time procrastinating by playing a game on the computer.

Today, so far, I've gone to town with my dad for lunch, wandered around our local home improvement store aimlessly, refilled bird feeders (the feathered pigs are cleaning me out), looked over two or three well-thumbed catalogs, put away laundry, and of course, blogged. I keep telling myself that in thirty minutes, I'm going to get serious and get the work done. In reality, next thing I know it will be midnight and I'll just write it off and go to bed.

I think I'll try to break the cycle. I'm going to finish this off and start work on the handout my AP kids will need tomorrow. On the other hand, the house could use a general tidying, and I think Yelldo needs a bath....

The Is of the Thing

The Is of the Thing

This is a blog started just today by a friend of mine. If you're looking for some good reading, I recommend trying his site.

Picture


I promised this shot quite a while ago, but today was the first time the weather was clear and I was home/not sick, etc., enough to get it. I'll try to include some of my cameos later. This is my bottle tree. If you look carefully enough, you can also see Friedrik the Gnome lurking on an old tree stump. He keeps the daffodils tended and the bottle tree upright with Gnome Magic. That's the only explanation for why the wind we had last week didn't knock the whole affair over.

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Looming on the Horizon

Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many. ~Author Unknown

Live as long as you may, the first twenty years are the longest half of your life. ~Robert Southey, The Doctor

My thirtieth birthday is coming in a few days. Why thirty should matter is beyond me. It's just a number, and, I'm assuming anyway, no great revelation or change will happen when the clock strikes twelve on that day. Somehow, though, I find that I'm not where I thought I would be at thirty, and I am disconcerted. I wonder if anybody ever gets where they thought they were going. I wonder if anybody who does is ever happy there.

I am by no means unhappy with my life. Of course, there are a couple of things I wish were different, but that's just a part of the human condition.

I wish, profoundly wish, that I could have found a man to share my life with by now. I haven't had the best of luck with that. In fact, it's been about two years since I even met anybody I found remotely interesting in that department. What I'm looking for simply doesn't seem to be around here. I'm not sure why. I don't know if it's the locale or something in the water, but my ideas don't seem to mesh well with those of most men I meet. I am still looking, but I am thinking I'm going to have to look elsewhere.

Pushing that aside, I can't believe I've had some of the experiences I've had. Ten years ago, I never dreamed I'd have had the chance to travel to Costa Rica, Japan, Thailand, England, and Ireland. I never would have dreamed I'd have lived abroad, leaving home and family to pursue a job that fell into my lap and changed me forever. I would never have predicted that I would have met people from all over the world and worked with them, teaching and learning at the same time. It's been such a blessed thing so far.

I don't think I'm going to rush out and buy a Dodge Charger (probably not, anyway) or have plastic surgery or a wild fling with a college guy or any of those other mid-life cliches, but I am very reflective right now. I guess I'm in the process of adjusting all those childhood assumptions to the adult realities. It's strange. I'm not the person I thought I'd be (married, couple of kids), and I might never become that person. I've stopped taking it for granted that I will find a mate, and due to health issues, I stopped taking the babies for granted years ago.

Yet, despite these "missing pieces", there's a remarkable peace with things. I don't want to settle, but at the same time, I hope I'm going to enter this decade with a bit of dignity, not grasping and clawing after my fast-fading youth. I am hopeful that this decade will be every bit as full of pleasantly unexpected good things as the last one was. I guess I will just put the panic attacks off until the next big milestone looms on the horizon.