A Total Futbol Neophyte Looks at Messi

Today, it seems like every friend I have who has kids spends half their year ferrying the kids to soccer and the other half to a sport played with a stick (softball, t-ball, baseball). When I was a child, we didn't have soccer as the ubiquitous kid sport. It didn't start to become popular in our area until I was well into high school.  I think my high school got a team together when I was a sophomore or a junior.

Prior to this World Cup, I have not paid much attention to the sport.  I don't know why, really.  I have worked with international students for years, was in-country in Japan the year before they hosted and observed the building of the stadium in Brasilia two years ago from the heights of the TV Tower.  I have friends who are rabidly interested and have talked about it all the time.  I guess I just don't pay much attention to many sporting events.

This year, though, I had intentions to watch.  Admittedly, one of the main draws for me was seeing Brazil again even from a televised distance, seeing how all the preparations had come together, seeing if the general unrest that those preparations had stirred up had settled any. The World Cup began while I was in Louisville, and I turned on the TV in the Galt House one afternoon as one of the first matches was starting.  I was tired from a long day of hacking my way through the underbrush of essays, and I said, "Okay.  This is the year.  I'm going to do this this time around."  And so I watched.

Coming to a thing about which you know nothing is always both a humbling experience and a great source of the joy of discovery. I spent a lot of time looking stuff up online and trying to learn terms, rules, positions.  Thank God for Google, eHow, the FIFA site, and the millions of other sites made for newbies like me. The longer I watched, the more I began to comprehend basic things that my students probably absorbed with their baby food.  I discovered I liked the sport quite a bit.

The second game I watched in this World Cup had Argentina playing.  I honestly don't remember who their opponent was.  It was the first match in the opening round.  Right before it started, ESPN did one of their dramatic little mini-highlights of Lionel Messi.  I watched it with a little bit of interest and settled in for the match.

And from that point forward, pretty much all I saw was #10.  He's sort of amazing.

(Which I know is not new news.  Bear with me.  And while I know he is considered to be one of the best players in the world right now by people who actually know what they're talking about, I'm still going to tell you why.  This is my space.  I can do what I like.)

Ronaldo was made much of early on.  He had a different haircut for each match, including at one point a zigzag with a gold stripe painted in it. (Where and WHY did he find the time to go get a new 'do?) Apparently, according to the ESPN announcers, he was met at his hotel by a topless model.  While these things in and of themselves are not crimes, in the games I saw with him, he always seemed very conscious of his own glamour.  While I don't doubt he's good, I find that whole over-the-top attitude and lifestyle very boring.

Then there's Messi.  His is another one of the big glittery names at this World Cup.  The announcers chant his name like it's a litany required for salvation. Games he's not even playing in make mention of him. The corporate sponsors splash him on screen for almost every product.  He's drinking Pepsi, gulping Gatorade, operating at "god level" for Adidas.

Normally, these are things that would make me put him in the same big-business-sports-star box with Ronaldo.  I just couldn't do that to Messi, though.  The longer I watched him, the more I realized that his hair is the last of his concerns. I love to watch him play for several reasons.

One, he does things that are very hard but makes them look graceful and easy.  He doesn't showboat as I've seen some of the other young ones try to do.  To watch him move the ball is a kind of magic. (And no, not the "bippity-boppity-boo" kind, but thank you, Gatorade.  I have that flippin' song stuck in my head for DAYS every time I see that commercial...) Every time the ball comes near him, things get interesting.  He can take it away from others.  He can move it himself.  Apparently Maradona has said that it's like "the ball stays glued to his foot," and that seems about right to me.  It's beautiful to watch.

Two, he is not selfish.  While right now, the big media phrase is "Messi Dependence" for Argentina, this isn't because he isn't passing and giving his teammates a chance.  I love him for that.  In the last few matches I've seen with some of the other one-name demi-deities, too many of them wanted to hog the ball at times when a wise pass would have meant a goal.  Although Messi has done the majority of the scoring for his team in this World Cup, it isn't because he believes he's the only man on the field.

Three, I respect him because he always looks just a bit uneasy when the cameras are following him around during the pre-game stuff.  He doesn't simper or smirk or smolder into the lens. I perceive his expression as being one of resignation.  He can't do anything about it, but man, he wishes they would get that thing out of his face so he could concentrate on the important matters ahead.

Four, I love to see the rapport he has with other players.  My favorite example of this came when Argentina played Nigeria, and Messi and Enyeama were clearly giving each other friendly crap after Enyeama saved one of Messi's goal efforts.  The next time, Messi got it past the incredibly-good Nigerian goalkeeper, and still there was no pouting. It was an example of what sport SHOULD be to me.  It wasn't personal. They were sportsmen who could each appreciate the skill the other had. They might have been opponents, but that didn't mean they were enemies. I've seen him do that several times, sometimes with people he plays with in his regular league, sometimes not. For him, there is still joy in the game.  There are some others on the pitch who could take a lesson from that attitude.

Five, I saw pictures of him with his son.  Oh my God.  How totally precious.  Somebody retweeted his birthday post last week, and it was him with his little boy in his arms.  He had an expression of total happiness on his face. He has his son's handprints and name tattooed on his calf.  How can you not love someone who loves his little boy that much?  ESPN showed his wife carrying the little boy into the stadium before one of the matches, and he has a very small Argentina jersey with number 10 and the word "Papi" on the back.  Pardon me for having a girl moment, but, "AWWWWWWWWWWW."

Six, he does good things off the field.  He served as a goodwill ambassador for UNICEF.  He makes sure children who need medicine (as he did when he was a child) have access.  He gave money to restore the oncology wing of a hospital and train their doctors abroad.   His foundation additionally works to promote and ensure educational opportunities are there for those in need.  He gives back.

Seven, finally, (and to your eternal relief, no doubt)  to me, he's just beautiful.  Sure, I suppose he's not classically handsome in the way that Ronaldo considers himself to be.  When he smiles, though, or when he looks up and grins after a score, how could anyone possibly prefer that overly-groomed Portuguese?

I am looking forward to tomorrow's matches. If Argentina get past Sweden and should the USA manage to get by Belgium (about which I refuse to make predictions in either case), it's theoretically possible my national team might be facing my favorite player.  I'm not going to think about it much, though.  Instead, I'm just going to enjoy another day of Messi.

Things They Don't Tell Teachers to Get in Education Classes

I was in OfficeThing Friday night making a last-minute, last-of-the-year provisioning run.  As I threw things in my cart and ran through the inventory of frequently-used supplies mentally to see if I was forgetting anything, I thought to myself, "This is just another one of those things they don't tell preservice teachers:  Friday nights involve trips to OfficeThing."

And then I started thinking of all the things I have that are "outside of the usual" that make life easier. Consider this blog a public service message.

1.  A small personal heat-seal laminator - You can get one for about $30 if you pay attention.  Mine came from Wal-Mart and was on sale.  I use it for tons of things from making ID cards for my National Honor Society Officers to protecting bell schedules and labels for things.  I still have my large posters done in the library because of size, but for all the little stuff, I do that myself.

2.  Self-adhesive magnet discs - You can buy them from Wal-Mart or a craft store, but I find the best value to be online.  I use them for countless things.  They turn anything into something easily hung and easily removed.  I hang notices, labels, posters, the term cards that compose my word wall, instruction signs, everything really.  I don't have to fight stick-tac (which only sticks SOMETIMES or FOREVER), and it makes it easy and fast to change things out.

3.  Ceiling Hanglars - (yes.  that is their real name.)  Almost every classroom now has drop in "grid" ceilings. If your doesn't, these are of no use to you.  If it DOES, then these are a display/decoration dream-come-true.  I use them to suspend artifacts from my travels, mobiles, and tons and tons of student projects.  Again, this is about easy-up, easy-down with no damage to the fixtures.  Everybody loves the fact that I've used student work to decorate, too.

4.  Command Velcro Strips - I'm not sure that this is the right name for these.  They have a plastic surface that meshes with and holds to another similar surface, so I am calling them that.  They might be picture-hanger strips.  Again, no-damage hanging is the goal.  I found these and tried them for some things I wanted to put on my plastered walls.  They work like a charm.  No nails.  No mess.  They go right up and come right down perfectly.  They hold fairly heavy frames, too.

5.  A small plastic box each of Sharpies, Post-its, pens of a different color (green/purple), and highlighters - My students use these all the time, but some of them either cannot keep up with them or can't seem to get around to getting them.  It's easier to have them on-hand and easy-to-access than to fuss or hold up an activity because of their lack.  I use fliptop plastic boxes that I think were actually made for cds or something.  They hold a lot of each thing. I put them out when we need to use them, and the students (with the exception of one particular class awhile back) have always been very good to use what's needed and return it at the end of class.  No fuss, no hassle.

6.  Index cards - millions and millions of them.  I use all sizes.  The 3X5 blanks are fabulous for quick notes/passes/etc and also exit slips.  4X6 is what I put my word wall elements on.  5X8 is what I use for instructions, labels, and my "quote wall" of interesting student sentences from their papers, etc.

7.  Endless plastic baskets from Dollar Tree - I prefer the ones that are colored vinyl with a metal frame.  I use them for every kind of thing.  If we need to draw strips to choose something, I cut them up and put them in a basket.  If I need to put candy out for Parent-Teacher Conferences, I put it in a basket.  I have one for completed exit slips, one to collect the pieces of a bulletin board my students are creating and one to hold extra blanks.  I use one to hold student project CDs as they're turned in.  They're just good for organization.

8.  A small bookshelf stereo system - I have my laptop hooked up to mine, and whenever we watch movies or listen to Hamlet, the sound is crisp and clear.  I show YouTube videos.  We do a version of "musical chairs" involving walking until the music stops and picking a poem taped to a chair.  I have my students do multimedia projects often, and even if the recording wasn't the best in the world, we still hear.  I use it to play music while they write and to play textbook supplemental CDs of professional readers or original authors presenting the work we're dealing with.  During my planning period and after school, I use it just for me.  I don't see how anybody manages with just a pair of computer speakers.    

9. A scented wax warmer - You have to be careful with this one, but classrooms can be stinky places.  Since science has proven that smell influences mood, I think this is something important to deal with.  I said that you have to be careful with it, and I mean that, because if the fragrance is heavy or cloying, it can give those with allergies or asthma big problems.  I always stick with things that are clean (citrus or lavender) or at least non-floral (apple cinnamon, vanilla, sandalwood), and I have never had a problem with it.  The students seem to like coming in to it, too.

10.  A tape dispenser, a stapler, and a 3-hole punch for at least two "stations" in your room - unless you want kids constantly at your desk for stuff, put it out for them elsewhere.  I have two sets of the basics out on two sides of my room.  When not in use, it sits neatly on a Dollar Tree silver serving tray.  One set is near the printer.  One set is next to the turn-in baskets.  This works really well.

11.  A pass just for the bathroom - I fabricated mine from a cheap unpainted wooden door hanger, painted it black, and put a tiny silver cutout of a man (like the standard men's room icon) on one side and a tiny silver cut out of a woman on the other.  I don't like to let the "big pass" our school issues us out of my sight very often since sometimes students just wander around with them.  With the bathroom pass, it's really obvious they're not supposed to be anywhere but the restroom.

12.  A laser printer - I actually have two now because I have a laptop cart in my room.  Mine is not a $400 job; it's a fairly inexpensive Brother.  It was some of the best money I've ever spent because where I used to go through two or three ink jet cartridges a month, I now go through toner about every other month for about the same money.  It also duplexes, meaning that if I get in a bind to print something off in the morning, I don't have to fight my way to the copying machine.  I love it.  The extra for the laptop cart can't be praised enough, either.  It's set up wirelessly, and so everybody can print to it from the laptops, no muss (as long as our network is up), no fuss.

13.  Plastic shower curtains and small "cafe" rods - A shower curtain can hide a multitude of sins on a big bookshelf.  Just saying.  I put mine up with small extendable cafe rods that are supported by a Command hook on either end.  They keep all my supply and book shelves looking neat even when they are really not and give my classroom the illusion of neatness when it's just not possible to have the reality.

Yeah.  Well, if you're not a teacher, this probably bored the crap out of you.  However, I've been thinking about this list for awhile, and I wanted to share it.  I probably have left off some things that others consider to be essential.  That just means they get to make lists of their own.

Little Things

Man is fond of counting his troubles, but he does not count his joys.  If he counted them up as he ought to, he would see that every lot has enough happiness provided for it.  ~Fyodor Dostoevsky

Precisely the least, the softest, lightest, a lizard's rustling, a breath, a flash, a moment - a little makes the way of the best happiness.  ~Frederich Nietzsche, Thus Spake Zarathustra

Be happy.  It's one way of being wise.  ~Colette
_______________________________________________________

Little things make me happy.  I'm pretty sure this is the best way to be.  Here is a list of some of the small things that have brought me joy lately.

• indigo buntings - I looked outside my window yesterday to see a small sea of brilliant blue birds.  I thought they were bluebirds at first, but as I looked at them, I realized they were something quite different.  All of my feeders were empty, courtesy of my usual contingent of feathered and furred friends, so I went to Walmart to buy 40 lbs of seed to refill everything.  I don't know how long they'll be here, but I want them to have food while they are.
• buttermilk - Mom brought me a carton of buttermilk the other day.  I always forget how much I love it.  Glass by glass, I've been enjoying the tartness of it.  I need to get it more often.
• shiny nail polish - If I have a retail weakness, it has to be for shiny nail polish. Every time I go by a display, I stop and look.  It's not like I don't have more than enough to last me the rest of my life.  Somehow, though, there's always another cool color.  
• my cast iron Lodge pizza pan - I've made homemade pizza for years and years, and I've had tons of different pans.  A few months ago, I decided to splurge on a cast iron one made by Lodge.  I love cooking in cast iron; nothing makes better fried chicken or cornbread than a cast iron skillet.  I didn't know what to expect from it, but it makes some of the best pizza I've ever turned out.  It does something to the crust that makes it fantastic.
• waking up to rain - Even though it can be really horrible when I know I have to get out and do stuff in it, waking up to the sound of rain is soothing.  This morning, I woke up at 4:00, something that's not unusual.  Hearing the rain and knowing I didn't have to go anywhere made that thing that tenses up in me every morning when my eyes fly open in the darkness unknot.  I rolled over, smoothed a hand over Dillon (who stretched and purred), and pulled the covers up a little higher.  
• new greenness - As I've been driving lately, I've noticed that incredible show green appearing again.  Every shade of green from the palest and most delicate silvery-green to rich deep dark green spreads over the hillsides.  When the sun is out and the skies are nearly cloudless, something about the combination makes my heart surge.  It's like it wants to fly away into all that glorious color.  

Little joys.  These are the things from which larger happiness is made.  I'm going to keep looking for them.

Useless Skills I Possess

 In no particular order, I can:

1. make an owl out of white foamcore
2. slice tomatoes very thinly
3. assemble a six-band Turkish puzzle ring
4. trap a large silly white dog by using subterfuge and stealth
5. open a Maxalt tablet when I'm in so much pain that I don't even know who I am
6. curse quite colorfully in five languages (this is not to imply that I speak five languages...which would be useful)
7. plan a lesson and replan the same skills in the sudden and inexplicable absence of all technology
8. change a tire next to a busy highway and or interstate
9. fold origami cranes
10. artfully smear wheat bread with Nutella

I'm sure somebody out there is just waiting for these qualifications.  In the meantime, there is bread that needs Nutellaing.  Excuse me.

All the Anniversaries

It seems like all kinds of important things have major landmark anniversaries this year.  Some examples right off the top of my head:

• The Emancipation Proclamation - 150 years
• Pride and Prejudice - 200 years
• James Bond movie series - 50 years
• The Bell Jar - 50 years
• Doctor Who - 50 years
• The London Underground - 150 years
• James Meredith admission to Ole Miss - 50 years
• The Birmingham Bus Boycott - 50 years
• Wagner born - 200 years
• Medgar Evers slain - 50 years
• Valium approved - 50 years
• Kennedy assassinated - 50 years

That's the short list.  Hmm.  I wonder if this year is going to live up to its predecessors.  

Think Happy Thoughts

The following items have gotten me through the day:

1. A big white silly dog waiting to lean on me when I got home
2. Rocky Road ice cream in my freezer
3. My little purring cat who sits on the other pillow of my bed and sings away the nightmares
4. The thought of Italy, and soon
5. Mirror-silver toenail polish
6. "A. Blue" low-quarter Chucks
7. Contemplating an Elvis bust dressed up next to my Shakespeare
8. Watching my students gleefully pillage a basket of prizes and then play with Slinkys and bubbles
9. The new Little Caesar's commercial with the clown in the forest
10. Granny's daffodils starting to bloom in the backyard

Wonderful Things

(a list)

• Watching my Pyrenees run, frolic, and splash wildly in the creek.
• Having said Pyrenees warm and dry and leaning on me as we drive down dirt roads.
• Driving down red dirt roads.
• Having just enough coffee left to make a pot.
• Watching a new coffee maker produce said coffee.
• Drinking that coffee from a new Fiestaware jumbo cup.
• Sitting in sunlight streaming through the window.
• Knowing that if I want to, I can go take a nap.
• Knowing that if I do go take a nap, four-hundred-and-eighty-seven cats and dogs will pile up in the bed to nap, too.
• Listening to the rumbling purr of a small, plump, striped cat.
• Having a vehicle that stops when the brakes are pressed.  (Mine currently does not do this.)
• Driving a big, brown, battered farm truck with enough pulling power to move a small moon.
• Hearing the quiet chiming of agate windchimes and thinking of Brazil.

I think I hear a nap calling me.  It's been peaceful today.  I hope yours has been as well.

A Little Helpful Advice

(a read-between-the-lines-tongue-in-cheek-list-story)

• When trying to shoot an object, it's often good to take many shots of it from various angles.  Try close-up shots as well as framing more of the subject.  You can always crop down, but you can't add stuff around the edges.
• Late afternoon light is highly appealing for shooting.  It makes interesting shadows and has that dreamlike golden quality to it.
• Places of unexpected beauty are tucked away even in the most ruthlessly functional locations.  Always wear good shoes when shooting just in case you need to do a little walking on uneven ground to get in to where the shot is.
• It is not easy to walk fast on crossties.
• If and when that little instinctive voice whispers in your head that it's time to get off the train tracks and out of the woods, then it is indeed time to get off the train tracks and out of the woods.
• Kansas City Southern trains have rather intimidating black locomotives.  Sometimes four or five of them.

• Despite what you may believe to be true, by the time you can actually see a train coming around the bend and hear its whistle, your proverbial goose is cooked.  They move incredibly fast.
• The amount of wind created by a passing KCS train is enough to move an adult woman back a step or so.
• And finally.....
• Apparently, I need a FULL-TIME KEEPER whose only job is to keep me alive when I go out taking pictures.  Any takers? 

So TONIGHT, I'm Going to...

(a list)

• lock my freakin' cat out of my bedroom - I have a knifing pain in my back that keeps me from being able even to twist my torso to look behind me.  This is courtesy of Dillon who has decided the BEST PLACE IN THE KNOWN WORLDS is curled on my pillow on top of my head.  I woke up ten times at least last night in agony from contorting to allow her to purr and knit, purr and knit.  

• go to bed early enough that even if I am rudely awakened, I can still not feel horrid the next day.

• mine my driveway so any "nighttime funseekers" are blown "at the moon," to quote my favorite Dane.  Last night's 12:30 shenanigans were sufficient to make me spooked for a long time.

• put on my fuzzy pjs.  BECAUSE HAVE YOU BEEN OUTSIDE?  It's getting cold.  This isn't a bad thing.  Fuzzy jammie weather is awesome.  Love me some fuzzy jammies.

• eat the rest of the key lime pie.  It's been waiting patiently.  I think it deserves my undivided attention. 

• pray this "disturbance in the Force" in my head doesn't turn into a full-fledged migraine.  Because that would suck.  A lot.  

• watch a musical, probably either Singin' in the Rain or Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.  Or, you know, something like Ferris Bueller or The Women.  In any case, it should be light, fluffy, and full of happiness.  Fuzzy jammies and key lime pie do not go with Citizen Kane (which I sat down to watch last night and just finally turned off because it was making me so totally depressed).  

• paint my toenails blue.  Or silver.  Or red glitter.  Or purple.  Or green.  Or.....

• plot and plan my first, honest-to-God, cold day of winter outfit for tomorrow.  It's probably an indicator of something quite sad that I'm so happy about the cold weather, but, well, there you have it.  The scarf/jacket/hat combination must be carefully considered....

I don't know what you're up to with your evening, but may it be every bit as satisfying to you as fuzzy jammies and pie.

Fantasy Christmas List

I have a whole saga to tell about my recent absence, but as of this moment, I want to focus on some happy stuff.  Hence...

If I could have ANYTHING I wanted for Christmas, I would ask for:

• I just saw a documentary on the Doc Channel called The Bus Movie.  It was fantastic.  I have always liked the look and style of the VW microbus (me and millions of people, right?), but after seeing the documentary, I really want one.  I have this insane dream about driving across country, stopping at all the interesting places and the places that interest me (not always the same), and now that dream involves a VW bus.

• An Alessi Nativity - This may not be your particular cup of tea, but there is something so charming to me about this set.  The pieces that go with it, angels, shepherds, Magi, are all also wonderful.  It isn't traditional, but it is wonderful in its cheery colors and joy.

• A cartouche necklace.  Tacky?  Maybe.  But I've been fascinated by Egypt forever.  When we were little, my cousin L and I spent time learning how to write simple messages in (likely highly suspect) hieroglyphs.  I just did a lesson today with my classes about the grammar of hieroglyphic writing.  Someday, I hope to go to Egypt and see the real thing for myself in its native environment.  Until then, this would be very neat.

Only three things right now.  I might come up with some others later on.  I know you'll be on the edge of your seat waiting.

What I Did Today

(a list)

• watched the last of the current episodes of Once Upon a Time on Hulu
• vacuumed and steam cleaned all my carpets
• ran Chewie out of the kitchen with the broom and then the mop
• swept and mopped all my linoleum
• emptied and reloaded the dishwasher
• washed and replaced all my slipcovers
• finished painting and constructing a signpost in my backyard with 8 different locations I love
• cooked and ate dinner
• read Jane Austen and held 72 lbs of pit bull in my lap at the same time (Roux was feeling neglected)
• put away coats.  put away coats.  put away coats.  put away....
• wondered again if it really might be possible to have too many books
• enjoyed leftover ham
• filled birdfeeders

It might not sound like much to you, but I guarantee you it was plenty for me...

Waking Up Again

a list of the things I have started doing again now that I'm no longer taking the Topamax:

1. Waking up without feeling sick
2. Growing Christmas cacti 
3. Grading more papers without having to fight that enormous shut-down of my body every day
4. Being able to remember things for longer than five minutes
5. Crafting - including woodworking, crochet, painting, Cricut stuff, and plans for a stained glass window
6. Cleaning
7. Cooking
8. Remembering people's names.  (Okay.  I'm still not 100% on this one, and I might never be. There is just something about names that gives me problems.  Characters, places, real people.   It's not nearly as embarrassing at it used to be, though.  Maybe whatever the Topamax did to me is undoing itself slowly.)
9. Wanting to do things in my off time other than sleep.

It constantly scares me how much of my life disappeared into a hole while I was on that medicine.  I know I needed it, but I'm grateful now that I don't.  I hope I never do again.

Random Items

...likely to be found in the pockets of my "teacher apron" at any given moment.
(a list)

• a blue Pelikano Jr. fountain pen
• pick any three:
• red grading pen
• Sharpie highlighter
• Sharpie
• dry erase marker
• Uniball Vision black ink, micro tip pen
• the last three orange Post-its on a pad which have now become sort of free-form origami
• pick any two:
• stereo remote
• projector remote
• PowerPoint clicker
• lightsaber laser pointer
• library passes
• a box of Maxalt
• a pair of purple scissors with a polkadot sheath
• pick one:
• peppermints
• cinnamon disks
• small roll of colored duct tape
• dry erase board eraser
• bulletin board tack stapler
• at least one pin that has fallen off the front and needs mending

What do you carry around in your "pockets" during the day?

Lately

• I've been called a part of the "Fantastic Four."  There's a whole mythology in the making, apparently.  It makes me laugh.  I love it.
• I don't feel very well.  My throat hurts tonight, and I'm feeling decidedly ickish.  I haven't been really sick in a long time, but I have a nasty feeling that my number has come up.
• Every other thing I say is yelling at my dog Chewie for being an idiot.
• Everything - people, animals, the weather - has been trying to kill me as I drive.
• I've been giving thought to trying to take some classes in education technology.  Are there classes in education technology?
• I've become moderately addicted to Clif Bars.
• I found myself cruising the Christmas aisle in Wal-Mart even though we haven't had Halloween yet.  The shiny made me happy.
• I want nothing more than to get away from negative people.  It hurts them; it hurts me.  Why do it?  Either change it, accept it, or get away from it.  Don't keep poisoning the air because of it.
• I keep thinking ITALY.  ABOUT 140 DAYS.
• I am going to bed earlier and earlier.
• I wrote some stuff.
• I have enjoyed sitting in my driveway listening to one more song before I go in the house.  Why it should be that music is so much better in the car in one's own driveway, I cannot say.
• Just at the time it was most necessary, support came from a totally unexpected source.  It made me feel loved and protected.  It made me cry.

There's probably more, but none of it is earthshattering.  I guess I'm just in the school year rut.  That's okay.  There is a beauty to the mundane and routine, too, if you look at it the right way.  "There's nothing either good or bad..."

Etc., Etc., Ad Nauseum

(a list)

• I started teaching my Mythology class today officially.  It is going to be great fun.  I love it, and I think the students will have a good time, too.
• I should be asleep, especially since I haven't gotten much sleep this week, but....
• I feel compelled to write here because...
• I am torn between two emotions.  On the one hand, things are going pretty well.  I have things to look forward to, things that make me happy.  My work life has stabilized.  I should be happy, but....
• There are pockets tucked into hidden corners, the contents of which make me sad and frustrated, mostly I think because...
• I want something I can't have.  Ever.  Shouldn't have.  Am not capable of having even in the smallest measure. Which brings me to my biggest question...
• How do I turn off that wanting?  How do I set it aside and pretend like it's not there?  Will the pretending make it real sooner or later?  If I just close my eyes, plug my ears, ignore it, will it fade away from lack of attention?  Life would be so much kinder if I were just dead inside, mindless and automated.  This constant state of feeling every little bump in the road is too much.  I need better shock absorbers for my soul.  And so, I guess...
• I will just go to bed now.  Sleep and hope not to dream.  Try to focus on the positive.  Try to be a support instead of needing to be supported.  Live up to the adage about giving and receiving.  Close my eyes another day and hope I don't bump into too many things that will bruise me in the process.

I'm the Woman Who...

• frequently looks at guys with hot cars and thinks, "Give me your keys and get lost."
• is made happy by a well-made bulletin board.
• loves you.  (sorry.  the allusion/song reference just felt necessary.)
• just spent about 30 minutes cleaning stuff off her iPhone so it had enough space left to upgrade the iOS.
• can't sleep because I have nightmares.
• wears bunches of rings and doesn't really care what you think about that.
• is going to have Froot Loops right now.  Without milk.  Just because.
• prefers to watch all TV through my Roku because I can get instant gratification and no commercials.
• is going to DC in about 10 days.
• has a sack of grading to do.
• is still eating Froot Loops.
• really does miss you, probably.  No song allusions at all.
• is going to bed now.  To sleep.  (to sleep perchance to dream...aye, there's the rub)
• cannot avoid a Hamlet reference.
• is now done.

What's Going On

A list.  It's all I am capable of.

• Migraine.  Big, bad, nasty one.  It caught me in Wal-Mart, doubling my misery, and then I had to wait at the checkout while a manager was called repeatedly to come and open a security box for an ink cartridge.  I finally left the cartridge and fled to the car for my medicine.
• iPad.  I love it more and more.  It lets me do so many things on the move in my classroom.  Today, I used it to show parents grades on my desktop and to adjust things by way of makeup grades and so on as needed.  There are some distinct limitations to what I can do on it, but it's a great tool.  Plus...
• Doodle Jump and Fruit Ninja.  God help me.  I can't stop playing them.  
• Fall Weather.  I have the windows open and the attic fan on.  It's delightful.  I got to wear my new Birki clogs, and today I even put on a scarf.  I hope this weather sticks around awhile.
• Eggplant Parmesan.  I came home from a long day of school followed by Parent Teacher Conferences, and I was thinking in the simplest possible terms of supper:  peanut butter and jelly.  I opened the freezer to look for an option, and there, waiting like a surprise gift, was a frozen eggplant parm I'd forgotten I'd bought as a payday splurge.  It was doubly good for that.
• DVR.  Last night's headache made me forget about one of the few TV shows I watch with regularity, Warehouse 13.  It occurred to me on the way home today that I'd missed it.  Then it came to me.  Even though I was out of it doesn't mean my DVR was.
• Well-groomed lawn.  It's a simple and cheap pleasure to walk through my yards now that the grass has been cut.  It's so pretty that I don't know why I don't do it more often.
• Tired.  So achingly, miserably tired.  Doesn't matter how much I sleep.  It's still there.  I'd like to curl up in ball in the middle of my bed with the cool air washing over me and sleep for days.
• Busy. Meetings and tests and plans, oh my.  Meetings and tests and plans, oh my.  (And me without any red sparkly shoes....)   

A few more stubborn minutes of Downton Abbey, and that's all for me for tonight.

Simply

Simply put,

• I'm tired today.  Everybody is too excited by the weather, and I have had a hard time getting them settled so we can get things done.  I feel like the day has been ten times as long as it should be.
• I am worried about the coming storm.  Even though it's nowhere in the same category, I (and everybody else, too, I guess) keep having Katrina flashbacks.  Maybe you always do if you go through something like that.  I cannot help looking at the trees in my yard uneasily and wondering which of them will still be standing when the storm is gone.
• I am in pain.  My stupid pit bull decided to run as I was trying to untangle her leash from her leg, and the wound I was worried she would receive is across my fingers instead.  The retractable leash extended so fast that by the time I opened my fingers, the damage was already done. I put aloe from my plant on it which finally allowed me to stop crying, but it still looks hideous.
• I'm ready for the long weekend.  It just can't get here fast enough.  I have started, very gently compared to last year, to need to get away from this place.

That's probably enough for today.

Mighty Revelations...

(a list.  and a facetious title. prepare yourself.)

• Tablets that don't work really suck.  Especially when you want one a lot.  It's a tease.  I don't like teases.  Put up or shut up and get out, sweetheart.
• It's really expensive when the pharmacy fills a scrip that was supposed to be filed instead.
• The "linen & clean air" scent of Febreeze car air freshener will knock you straight down when it's been sitting in Mississippi August heat all day.
• A six-pound, fourteen-year-old black cat can whip a seventy-eight pound, year old Pyrenees. (true fact)
• I regularly wish to be as much of a badass as my six-pound, fourteen-year-old cat.
• People still amaze me on a regular basis, both with their kindness and faith...and with their lack of both.
• American TV networks should never, ever try to reproduce successful British shows.  Except  The Office.  That one, I'll give them.
• I dream of the same weird and incredibly detailed places all the time.  They remind me of deChirico paintings and not in any kind of good way.
• People are crazy, and times are strange.  I used to care, but things have changed.
• One of the best feelings in the world is to be clean straight from a hot shower and to slip between cool, fresh sheets.
• Having a constant camera on my iPhone has made me pay more attention to the world around me.
• Just once before I die, I want to drive all the way across the country and see things, maybe with an Airstream, even.
• I do NOT want to see The Possession.  Ever.  Or The Apparition.  Or any other scary movie  dealing with demonic possession that ends in "-shun."  
• I still want that 440 V8 RoadRunner.
• The best fountain pen I own cost me about $10.  (Pelikan Pelikano Jr., for the record.)
• Sometimes nothing but cheese will do.  Interpret that however you like.
• Wearing blue sparkly polish on my toes makes me feel like dancing.
• I firmly believe my life would be better if the new seasons of Sherlock, Doctor Who, or Downton Abbey were currently rolling.
• Slipcovers hide a multitude of sins.
• Some songs demand broken speed limits.
• Every time I think about the upcoming election, all I can think of is, "This is IT?  This is ALL?  Oh CRAP, we're in trouble...."
• I really hate talking to people in the morning.  It's not that I don't love you.  It's that the evil of pre-noon doesn't deserve to be acknowledged verbally.
• There are days when I would like to wear all my favorite pieces of jewelry at once like a Gypsy queen.  
• It's not late, but I'm still going to bed.  I roll like that.

(randomness out.  love ya.)

Things I Am Learning in Brazil

(a list)

• To let it go (whatever it is...stolen credit card, stressful year, premade plans)
• To go with God
• To be hugged
• To buy the thing when I see the thing if I want the thing at all
• To take more pictures than I possibly think I could ever want
• To drink the wine
• To try to other stuff, too
• To fold up like origami again
• To see slices of Mississippi between the leaves of banana trees
• To buy perfume
• To drink the coffee
• To feed monkeys bananas
• To buy the Havianas with the little jewels on the thongs
• To wear clothes twice (or more) and do laundry in the sink
• To be on TV.  A lot.
• To communicate in a mixture of bad Portuguese, middling Spanish, and flailing hands
• To look around and try to remember everything because I know all too soon, this is going to be over. I will still have with me all the things I have learned, though.