This morning, I got up early, got dressed, and took Roux for a long walk around the yard. She sniffed every blade of dew-wet grass, overturned every brown live-oak leaf, and followed every track left in the yard by nighttime animal visitor in the yard. Her poor back leg trembled with every step, but she was so excited to be outside in the cool morning air that her ears were perked up and she wasn't really paying attention. Yelldo, who'd come out with her, was dancing around, sniffing and exploring happily, getting ready to enjoy another morning of outdoor fun.
When I was sure she'd taken care of her bodily needs, I brought her back in, gathered up my purse and keys, and helped her into the car. She, as she always does, climbed right across the passenger side and into the driver's seat. Once I persuaded her that she couldn't drive, we hit the road. She is always such a good dog in the car, so peaceful and calm. She looks out the window at the passing cars, and she never seems nervous at all. She is always perfectly composed, stately almost.
Today, I just kept petting her and telling her over and over what I've been saying since Wednesday, telling her she'll feel so much better when this is all over and that I swear I'll be back for her as soon as I'm able. I don't know if dogs have memories for things like this, but I believe they do. I worry so much that she will flash back to her life as a shelter dog or to the time when she was in rescue before she had a permanent home, and that she'll think that I've given her up. I know the surgery will be painful for her during and after the procedure, but she's a pit, and a healthy one at that, so I'm not worried so much about her physically. Mostly, I don't want her great big loving pit bull heart to suffer even for one second thinking that I left her somewhere. That's happened to her before, after all.
Now, I'm just waiting by the phone to hear that she's okay after the surgery. Once I hear that, I can begin the countdown to her return to me tomorrow morning. I know all too well the pain of knee surgery, so I am ready to help her start on the road to recovery once she gets home. I just need her home. It's hard to have part of your heart away from you.
Our puppy managed to get hit by the one car that comes down our dead end, the postman or UPS ( I guess that is 2) but we don't know which one...she has some radial nerve damage in her foot and a big wound on her elbow. She refuses to slow down and tries so hard to run as she did before. The vet says a couple months will tell the tale of how well she recovers control of her foot. She doesn't seem to notice, but it breaks my heart.
ReplyDeleteI hope your Roux is home and feeling better, you too.
So many posts for which a comment is due!Please forgive my lax commenting. I HATE hearing your were broken in to, hate it. But please don't give in to fear. They win, and they just can't be allowed to do that.
Easy to say, I know. Hard to do. Maybe even impossible. But I'm thinking of you.
I hope your puppy regains her health. Roux chases the UPS truck, or did before her knee surgery. She's going to miss her chance to bedevil the big brown box, I guess. She's got to be restricted for the next 3 months, at least.
ReplyDeleteI'm doing much better after the break-ins. I manage to leave the house now with regularity. I can't say that I don't think about it whenever I go, but at least I do go. I think that's progress. Too many memories of the last time stirred up are a part of this time, I think.
Thanks for the kind words. I always need them.