Buy Your Own Diamonds

When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure.  ~Peter Marshall

I approach thirty-five on dainty winged feet.  

Actually, I just wanted to write that.  I don't do anything on dainty winged feet.  I stumble toward thirty-five like somebody running an endurance race who, in full stride, hung a toe on a root they should have seen and avoided....


Got that picture of grace in your head now?  Good, good....


A few years ago, I got tired of waiting for marriage to bring me a KitchenAid mixer, and, so, when February rolled around, I took myself and my pitiful bank account to a local mercantile and I brought home the lovely bright red beast that gleams quietly on my kitchen cabinet, maker of pound cake batter thick enough to use as a mortar for brick.  

That was the same birthday I got tired of waiting for Fiestaware, the dishes I had always wanted, and so I began to collect sets of them on each payday.  I now eat my breakfasts, rare lunches at home, and dinners off the same type of dishes my Nana had, cheerful, sturdy, bright pops of color.  Just opening the cabinet or emptying the dishwasher makes me happy.


This year, I stop waiting for diamonds.


This year, thirty-four fades into thirty-five.  There are no beaux lining up and pining away at my door.  I've watched girls who were literally infants when I was in high school get married recently, and I'm done waiting for the bolt from the blue to strike here.  For whatever reason, although I am blessed with many other good things, that good thing is not going to be mine.  Therefore, I'm buying my own damned diamonds.  


Not a ring.  I don't want that.  It would be a little too much insult added to injury, if you follow the logic there.  There will never be a diamond ring on these hands apparently.  I have, however, always wanted a pair of diamond studs.  You can read my previous post about the ones that Artifactum makes on Etsy, made from uncut diamonds, unusual and lovely.  That is what I've bought myself.  


They are my way of making peace with thirty-five.  If nobody else will give them to me, then I love me enough to give them to myself.