Living with Topamax Part I

I say part one because I foresee this being a running series....

When the alarm went off this morning, I almost could not even drag myself out of bed. My body refused. It simply refused. I managed to crawl across the bed to the phone and called Mom to check that she was up and let her know that I was, our morning ritual, but as soon as I hung up the phone, my eyelids slammed shut again.

I finally made it in to the shower, but the overwhelming sense of exhaustion remained even after the hot water started to flow. Toweling off, I was tired. Brushing my teeth, I was tired. Getting dressed, I was tired. Driving to work, I was probably a danger to myself and others as I fought to stay awake.

There's no reason other than the Topamax for this. I was up til 11 last night, but that can't explain the way I felt. That also can't explain what came later.

Around 10:00, my brain just quit for the day. It packed up its workbag, flipped off the light switch, and went home for a long weekend. Unfortunately, I had to flail around and try to cope with teaching without it. My students were kind, but I hate having to even ask them to be kind because I am weak. Let me tell you now, there's nothing quite as disquieting as having your mental facilities cut in half and knowing it. I felt like everything I was trying to do was being done underwater in a strong current. Words and names for things went missing, a symptom I have whenever I have a really bad headache.

My doctor warned me that I might have the tiredness and some of the same types of processing issues that the migraines themselves bring as my brain chemically adjusts to the Topamax, but my LORD, I am only taking the lowest dose right now. If it's going to get worse in a few days when I step it up to the next dosage, somebody is going to have to nursemaid me to keep me from walking into traffic and forgetting where I live. I hope I adjust soon...