Tired

I got out of the house.  One of my best friends and I went out and had lunch, went junkin'.  We didn't go to our usual haunt since it closes on Wednesday.  We went to two new places, and they were really good finds for me.  One of them has a whole yard out front of architectural pieces, something I've been looking for and unable to find.

The whole day was a bit surreal for me because in my upsetness (not a word but go with me here) last night, I got distracted and double-dosed myself with Topamax, taking 400 mg instead of my usual 200.  I woke up just before I hit deep sleep, had that moment of panic and convinced myself that I had forgotten to take my pills, went back and forth about it for a few moments, and took them again.  There's nothing like stepping that stuff up, and to suddenly double it is no fun for anyone.

Tomorrow I will be buying one of those fantastic old-lady day-by-day medicine boxes.  Damn, I hate my life sometimes.  I am getting all the accouterments of geriatric life here in my mid-thirties.  I will leaven this by buying another pair of cute reading glasses to replace the ones Roux destroyed in the middle of the living room floor last night.  I am not sure this is really a "feel good" purchase, either, but I am NOT going to let the pit bull win, and if I have to wear the glasses, they might as well make me smile.

I did okay today, but it's been the whole-fighting-through-Jello situation all day long.  I told my friend that if she found me staring stupidly at anything shiny to tell me to "come along" like she would her children.  They're both under the age of 10.  She laughed.  She's known me since we were 8, so we've both seen each other in every kind of situation.  At one point, she took this stuff for migraine, too, so she knows how it goes.  She takes prodigious care of me sometimes.

While I was out, I found a copy of the Edgar Bulwer-Lytton novel that has the famous first line, "It was a dark and stormy night..." in it.  I had to buy it.  It's a VERY old book, small and green and pretty.  I have sort of a thing for old books, and so the combination of the image of Snoopy on his house with the typewriter it conjures/ the kitschy first line everybody recognizes/the physically lovely book made me have to have this one.

I came home and went to bed. Sleep grabbed me like a giant fist and pulled me right down. The meds just made me so tired.  I only intended to sleep a little while, but when I finally pulled myself out of it, I had slept for about four hours, and I felt better.  I suppose it's cycling out of my system now.

Now I'm just sort of playing on the computer (I finally got an invite to Google+.  Yay!!), watching an very old, very scary movie, and still drifting the slightest little bit.  The horrible glass wall of separation is mostly gone.  I just hope that when it's completely gone, the sad doesn't come back in with it.