Paranoia

Third period was on it with the stripper thing again yesterday.  It started with talking about missed birthdays and presents.  They realized that they had missed mine, and they said they'd have brought me a present if they'd have known.  I told them they could have brought me copy paper (a running not-so-funny joke in my life).  One of them said they'd get me a new outfit for my "routine."   And off we went....

I just laugh at that most of the time because if you know me, I think you know that there is no person on earth less likely to be thought of in that capacity than I.  Guys don't notice me.  I have girl friends who are stunning, for whom guys will quite literally fling themselves over and through things.  I'm sort of the tag-along shadow who keeps my friends company until something male comes along, the "bodyguard," I guess.  Every group has that smart-girl-who-isn't-lovely. That's me. Oh, guys talk to me.  I make an awesome friend.  That's about it.  I mean, I don't scare babies or curdle milk, but men do not find me physically attractive.  I have known this since I was a teenager.   I made my peace with this ages ago.

That's why the whole stripper thing is so silly to me.  Yeah.  Right.  Me.  Uh-huh.  I'm more likely to be swinging a sword than off a pole, honey.

But it persists.  And so I started to worry in that ridiculous paranoid way that you do about things...  How did that idea get stuck in their head to start with?  Did I do something in any way inappropriate at any point to put that in their minds?  As a teacher, I have to watch everything I do so carefully.  It would kill me if I were accidentally doing something stupid and not knowing it.

One person I told this story to said, "It's because you are a woman, and you're totally fearless.  That's all."  I never would have put "fearless" and "stripper" together, but okay.  I sort of figure they're doing it just because they're a fun and funny class, and they've found the absurdity of it makes me laugh and roll my eyes.  I would take either of those answers.  I just couldn't live with the idea of impropriety.