So there's this Christmas song by Bob Dylan called "Must Be Santa." I got a compilation album with a bunch of stuff on it, and I saw that one and thought, "Wow. Bob Dylan does Christmas. Okay."
I did not at that time understand the profound turn for the holiday weird my life was going to take.
I think I'll let you listen to it for yourself. You can click above and see the video and everything. And really, without the video, you're just not getting the full effect. It's like a cross between National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation and Animal House. Just be warned. IT WILL HAUNT YOU. As in, you'll be humming in the shower as you are washing your hair or in the laundry room while you're folding clothes, and suddenly you will realize.....IT'S THAT SONG. And so it will be every time your brain goes on idle even momentarily. Apparently for the rest. of. your. life.
As if that weren't enough, I also have the image of Bob from this video cavorting in my head like an evil Tom Petty in his parade of hats. And you KNOW it had to go somewhere scary for me to say "an evil Tom Petty." I mean, consider what that entails for a moment.
So, at your own risk and in your own time, if you dare, test the waters and wade in. Just be aware that you're going to be grading papers or chopping tomatoes and finding yourself chanting, "Dasher/Dancer/Prancer/Vixen/Eisenhower/Kennedy/Johnson/Nixon....Must be Santa, Must be Santa, Santa Claus...." like some devotee of a cult.
Maybe there's a 12-step to break the cycle.
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And then you said.....