My Car

The View from the Car This Afternoon

I realized as I was sitting in my car this afternoon once I got home that my car has become this odd little bubble of peace.  I often come home and before going in sit and go through email or FaceBook, things I could do as easily if not more so inside.  Sometimes I stay and listen to the rest of a song that caught my attention on the radio.  Sometimes, I just sit in the quiet and decompress by looking up at the sky or the trees.  

As I always do when some oddity of mine catches my attention, I started wondering why I do that, why I don't simply get out and come in like all the "normal people."  I decided that it's because the car is sort of a happy limbo for me.  It's not school.  I am not called upon to give more with less or grade any damn thing.  I am completely free from red pens and meetings.  It's also not home...quite...  There are no dogs to walk, no messes to feel guilty about ignoring, no chores to be done.  It's a time-out zone.  All I have to do is just...BE.  There is almost nowhere else left like that for me that I can think of.  Every other place has requirements and obligations.  

Maybe, then, it's no wonder I'm so often reluctant to lock the door and walk away.  I guess everybody needs at least the illusion of freedom in their lives.  Maybe it's a cheap thrill, but I'll take what I can get.