I didn't mention it because I genuinely didn't expect it to come to anything, but I entered and won our local poetry contest again this year. I entered both an essay and the poem, and I think both are going to be published. The prize is just for the poem, though.
It was a nice surprise. This is the time of the school year when both the students and we are completely sick of each other. There are many other responsibilities that are coming together right now, and I have been more than a little stressed.
I haven't had much if any time to work on my writing this year. It's been pushed to the side in a big way. I almost didn't even enter anything because I didn't feel that I had much that was ready. I hope that I have more time for writing this summer. I'm going to try to take the summer off (as much as possible) and recover.
I want to get something permanent (as much as anything can be) with the prize money. Right now, I'm thinking a tree for the yard. I don't know. As you can tell, I'm not very focused. I just wanted to share this good thing that happened.
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Friday, March 24, 2006
A Month?
Today was a mixed up kind of day. It was "grades in the computer" day, which is never very encouraging as I realize how many of my students haven't quite figured out that passing might involve turning in a homework assignment. There are always some who have that magic change of heart and suddenly start doing what they need to, but there are also even more who just continue to slide down. It's a helpless feeling sometimes.
My AP classes are starting Chaucer, and I'm sure there will be a full-fledged blog post about it later. I love Chaucer. He was such an acute observer of humanity. His characters have all the same silliness and weakness of real people. I respect writers who can do that. We're all so full of little quirks and flaws, but I think a lot of writers are scared to touch that. To me, that's one of the best parts of us. I know I have enough "quirks" to fill a wheelbarrow. I would probably have been excellent fodder for Chaucer. I'm just ridiculous enough most days....
After school, I went on a quest for 120 film and discovered that there is none to be had here in Podunk. Nor is there any to be found in the slightly larger Podunk City to the east. In fact, in Podunk City, I was told that the 120 was on backorder and that they hoped they might get some NEXT MONTH. A month? What is this? Pony Express days? Are they having gnomes mine it out of a hillside and craft it by hand? Is it elfin magic? Impatience, impatience, impatience....
I suppose I'm going to have to go to Jackson to get the film. That will be okay. I've been looking for an excuse to head that way to see my best friend who lives out that way, anyway. I haven't been able to go visit with her for awhile. I'll probably have to wait until Blessed Payday gets here and then I can make the film and a couple of other things I need my April Splurge. Until then, I will have a good chance to practice my "patience skills", always sorely in need of betterment. Maybe I'll just go hold the camera some more and *pretend* there's film in it.... :)
My AP classes are starting Chaucer, and I'm sure there will be a full-fledged blog post about it later. I love Chaucer. He was such an acute observer of humanity. His characters have all the same silliness and weakness of real people. I respect writers who can do that. We're all so full of little quirks and flaws, but I think a lot of writers are scared to touch that. To me, that's one of the best parts of us. I know I have enough "quirks" to fill a wheelbarrow. I would probably have been excellent fodder for Chaucer. I'm just ridiculous enough most days....
After school, I went on a quest for 120 film and discovered that there is none to be had here in Podunk. Nor is there any to be found in the slightly larger Podunk City to the east. In fact, in Podunk City, I was told that the 120 was on backorder and that they hoped they might get some NEXT MONTH. A month? What is this? Pony Express days? Are they having gnomes mine it out of a hillside and craft it by hand? Is it elfin magic? Impatience, impatience, impatience....
I suppose I'm going to have to go to Jackson to get the film. That will be okay. I've been looking for an excuse to head that way to see my best friend who lives out that way, anyway. I haven't been able to go visit with her for awhile. I'll probably have to wait until Blessed Payday gets here and then I can make the film and a couple of other things I need my April Splurge. Until then, I will have a good chance to practice my "patience skills", always sorely in need of betterment. Maybe I'll just go hold the camera some more and *pretend* there's film in it.... :)
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
TLR and Other Things
I got my Rolleiflex yesterday. I am so proud of it. It's a physically beautiful piece of machinery. To me, all things should be made that way, substantial, with great attention to detail, function with beauty.
I have to spend some time learning to master it. It's going to be a big change from my Nikon. So much of the Nikon is automated that I can use it like a glorified point and shoot. This Rollei is going to require more intelligence on my part. Gee, I hope I can swing it. :)
I also got shot down by three or four more candidates on eHarmony. I have really begun to hate that website. The people it matches me to live on the other side of America and invariably want stick-insects to date. Since there's no refund, I won't cancel, but unless a miracle happens, I won't renew, either. Screw it.
Well, I am going back to my Wednesday night addiction, Ghost Hunters, and then I'm off to bed. Tomorrow is "Friday Eve" and I will be one day closer to playing with my Rollei.
I have to spend some time learning to master it. It's going to be a big change from my Nikon. So much of the Nikon is automated that I can use it like a glorified point and shoot. This Rollei is going to require more intelligence on my part. Gee, I hope I can swing it. :)
I also got shot down by three or four more candidates on eHarmony. I have really begun to hate that website. The people it matches me to live on the other side of America and invariably want stick-insects to date. Since there's no refund, I won't cancel, but unless a miracle happens, I won't renew, either. Screw it.
Well, I am going back to my Wednesday night addiction, Ghost Hunters, and then I'm off to bed. Tomorrow is "Friday Eve" and I will be one day closer to playing with my Rollei.
Saturday, March 18, 2006
The New Doctor Who
I am an old-school Dr. Who fan from way back. When I was still in elementary school, our Public Broadcasting channel (one of only three we could pick up) used to show Dr. Who every Saturday afternoon. Whatever my family was doing, we'd always stop and watch it together. I have good memories of it.
Since it went off the air, several attempts at reviving it have come along. The last one I saw was several years ago, and it just didn't have the right tone. The Doctor was more like a Romantic poet than a Timelord.
I saw the new Sci-Fi channel Dr. Who last night, and I have to say I was pretty happy with it. I like the guy they chose to play the Doctor. He's quirky, but it doesn't seem forced. He also doesn't seem to be deliberately imitating any of the previous Doctors.
The first episode even had some of the cheese and camp of the old episodes, too. When I saw the mannequins moving, I had to laugh. I don't mean the it wasn't creepy. After all, that's probably a common nightmare/phobia. But their movements and the whole arm through the elevator door thing reminded me of the Cybermen, etc. The scene where the arm comes to life and tries to kill Rose and the Doctor was almost MST3K-ish. It was great.
The second episode hearkened back to some of the great space station episodes of the past. Lovely costumes, but nothing too over the top, good, but not top-of-the-line CGI effects, all of it was the perfect tone for Dr. Who.
I want to see more episodes. If it holds its own or gets better, then it's going to be my favorite show. I'm just excited that it's back again. I have also realized that I have missed a lot of storyline history along the way. I've got to try to catch up. Apparently Gallifrey (sp?) was destroyed. When did that happen?
Oh well, more to enjoy. It's kind of nice to have something to look forward to again.
Since it went off the air, several attempts at reviving it have come along. The last one I saw was several years ago, and it just didn't have the right tone. The Doctor was more like a Romantic poet than a Timelord.
I saw the new Sci-Fi channel Dr. Who last night, and I have to say I was pretty happy with it. I like the guy they chose to play the Doctor. He's quirky, but it doesn't seem forced. He also doesn't seem to be deliberately imitating any of the previous Doctors.
The first episode even had some of the cheese and camp of the old episodes, too. When I saw the mannequins moving, I had to laugh. I don't mean the it wasn't creepy. After all, that's probably a common nightmare/phobia. But their movements and the whole arm through the elevator door thing reminded me of the Cybermen, etc. The scene where the arm comes to life and tries to kill Rose and the Doctor was almost MST3K-ish. It was great.
The second episode hearkened back to some of the great space station episodes of the past. Lovely costumes, but nothing too over the top, good, but not top-of-the-line CGI effects, all of it was the perfect tone for Dr. Who.
I want to see more episodes. If it holds its own or gets better, then it's going to be my favorite show. I'm just excited that it's back again. I have also realized that I have missed a lot of storyline history along the way. I've got to try to catch up. Apparently Gallifrey (sp?) was destroyed. When did that happen?
Oh well, more to enjoy. It's kind of nice to have something to look forward to again.
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Sunset Boulevard
"I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille." -- Norma Desmond
One of my favorite films is Sunset Boulevard. I generally like Billy Wilder films. He and George Cukor are probably my favorite directors of that generation. I don't know enough about the art of movie making to talk about technical details, but neither of them ever makes an unremarkable film.
I watched SB tonight. I don't watch it as often as I run some of my other favorites. It needs time between the viewings to soften and blur before coming to it again. I love the gothic elements of it from the opening scenes with William Holden dead in the swimming pool to the dead chimpanzee to Norma herself.
The best scene in the movie is the last one where Norma is coming down the stairs performing for the news cameras. There is tragedy there, but also a regal presence you can't dismiss. That's what makes it so captivating, both for the other characters and for the audience. I love the line about "all those people sitting out there in the dark" that she makes. It's sort of startling to be addressed suddenly.
I first saw SB when I was at IU. They had a film series put on by their film studies department, and they had screenings of old films the way they'd have been seen in the theater during their heyday. It was great. I got to see Easy Rider, Casablanca, Sunset Boulevard, and Double Indemnity that way. It was a favorite weekend destination for lots of people. You could bring in food and sit there with other fans and enjoy.
The Bloomington Parks and Recreation service also showed old movies on the side of an eighteen-wheeler trailer in one of the parks during the summer. That was great. You could take a blanket, whatever you wanted to partake of, load up kids and dogs, etc., and head to the park. I got to see The Awful Truth that way. I still love that film as well.
I wish there were more opportunities like that around here. In some cities, I know Memphis does it, at least, they take one of the grand old movie palaces and use it for that purpose. Nobody around here seems to think that's a profitable enterprise, though, so they don't do it. At least I have my DVDs. I can indulge any time I want. Now I just have to figure out a way to drag my TV outside and I guess I can have the complete experience.
One of my favorite films is Sunset Boulevard. I generally like Billy Wilder films. He and George Cukor are probably my favorite directors of that generation. I don't know enough about the art of movie making to talk about technical details, but neither of them ever makes an unremarkable film.
I watched SB tonight. I don't watch it as often as I run some of my other favorites. It needs time between the viewings to soften and blur before coming to it again. I love the gothic elements of it from the opening scenes with William Holden dead in the swimming pool to the dead chimpanzee to Norma herself.
The best scene in the movie is the last one where Norma is coming down the stairs performing for the news cameras. There is tragedy there, but also a regal presence you can't dismiss. That's what makes it so captivating, both for the other characters and for the audience. I love the line about "all those people sitting out there in the dark" that she makes. It's sort of startling to be addressed suddenly.
I first saw SB when I was at IU. They had a film series put on by their film studies department, and they had screenings of old films the way they'd have been seen in the theater during their heyday. It was great. I got to see Easy Rider, Casablanca, Sunset Boulevard, and Double Indemnity that way. It was a favorite weekend destination for lots of people. You could bring in food and sit there with other fans and enjoy.
The Bloomington Parks and Recreation service also showed old movies on the side of an eighteen-wheeler trailer in one of the parks during the summer. That was great. You could take a blanket, whatever you wanted to partake of, load up kids and dogs, etc., and head to the park. I got to see The Awful Truth that way. I still love that film as well.
I wish there were more opportunities like that around here. In some cities, I know Memphis does it, at least, they take one of the grand old movie palaces and use it for that purpose. Nobody around here seems to think that's a profitable enterprise, though, so they don't do it. At least I have my DVDs. I can indulge any time I want. Now I just have to figure out a way to drag my TV outside and I guess I can have the complete experience.
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Pointless
There's a line in You've Got Mail where Meg Ryan's character asks one of the guys who works in her store if he's online. He replies with something like, "The internet is just another way for me to be rejected by women." I am beginning to sympathize.
My eHarmony experiences have not been very good so far. The few guys I've gotten to the open communication stage with have been nice, but there's been no spark of any kind thus far. I posted pictures and had two guys tell me that they are "pursuing other relationships" and close the matches with me. I'm pretty sure that was their polite way of saying, "Oh NO, NO, NO" after seeing the pictures.
As you can imagine, this has been a tremendous ego boost for me. I don't know how much longer I'm going to keep this up. It's bad enough not to be able to find anybody locally. It's much, much more depressing to find out that not even the much touted eHarmony computer can find a match for me. I feel like a sideshow freak.
My membership with them runs until May, so I'll play it out until then. I just don't know how many more rejections from anonymous guys I can take. Even though I'm trying to stay positive about it, it just reinforces ideas I have already been fighting on a daily basis for years about my attractiveness and the possibility that a member of the opposite sex will ever see me as anything other than a friend.
Those voices are hard to fight, especially in the face of so much evidence to the contrary. I have always been the girl friend and never the girlfriend. It was made excruciatingly clear to me in the past that I didn't have what it took to be a girlfriend in the attractiveness department.
Sorry. I didn't intend for this to turn into a pity party. Well, chin up, laugh, clown, laugh, tomorrow's another day, and any other cliche that might apply.
My eHarmony experiences have not been very good so far. The few guys I've gotten to the open communication stage with have been nice, but there's been no spark of any kind thus far. I posted pictures and had two guys tell me that they are "pursuing other relationships" and close the matches with me. I'm pretty sure that was their polite way of saying, "Oh NO, NO, NO" after seeing the pictures.
As you can imagine, this has been a tremendous ego boost for me. I don't know how much longer I'm going to keep this up. It's bad enough not to be able to find anybody locally. It's much, much more depressing to find out that not even the much touted eHarmony computer can find a match for me. I feel like a sideshow freak.
My membership with them runs until May, so I'll play it out until then. I just don't know how many more rejections from anonymous guys I can take. Even though I'm trying to stay positive about it, it just reinforces ideas I have already been fighting on a daily basis for years about my attractiveness and the possibility that a member of the opposite sex will ever see me as anything other than a friend.
Those voices are hard to fight, especially in the face of so much evidence to the contrary. I have always been the girl friend and never the girlfriend. It was made excruciatingly clear to me in the past that I didn't have what it took to be a girlfriend in the attractiveness department.
Sorry. I didn't intend for this to turn into a pity party. Well, chin up, laugh, clown, laugh, tomorrow's another day, and any other cliche that might apply.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
The Joy of the Nap
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap.
Bob Hope
I got up today with the best of intentions. Today was going to be the day I did a lot of those dirty outdoor chores that have been piling up. I even made it outside and got halfway into one of the worst jobs, raking the live oak leaves away from the foundation of the house.
Suddenly, though, the sun was just too tempting. I laid aside the rake, grabbed The Secret Life of Bees, and sat down in the plastic chair in my back yard. That has become one of my great pleasures. I want to build a patio area back there, but I'm not sure about how to go about it despite the numerous HGTV shows I've seen on that topic. Next month, I may also get this incredibly tempting round lounger thing from Wal-Mart.
I read for a couple of hours. The combination of the warm sun, the cool winds, the sounds of the birds at the feeders, and the whuffling of the dogs was as potent a sleeping draught as any drug imaginable. The next thing I knew, I was sprawled out in the chair with my head thrown back and my book dangling by two fingers.
I decided to give up. I came in, shuffled my cat Yoda off the covers, and settled in. I feel better now than I have in a long time. Apparently, I wasn't as recovered as I thought I was. At least I've got Spring Break to make up for lost time. I hope I can get another day to just loaf and read. I really can't imagine a tropical retreat that would be any more pleasurable.
Bob Hope
I got up today with the best of intentions. Today was going to be the day I did a lot of those dirty outdoor chores that have been piling up. I even made it outside and got halfway into one of the worst jobs, raking the live oak leaves away from the foundation of the house.
Suddenly, though, the sun was just too tempting. I laid aside the rake, grabbed The Secret Life of Bees, and sat down in the plastic chair in my back yard. That has become one of my great pleasures. I want to build a patio area back there, but I'm not sure about how to go about it despite the numerous HGTV shows I've seen on that topic. Next month, I may also get this incredibly tempting round lounger thing from Wal-Mart.
I read for a couple of hours. The combination of the warm sun, the cool winds, the sounds of the birds at the feeders, and the whuffling of the dogs was as potent a sleeping draught as any drug imaginable. The next thing I knew, I was sprawled out in the chair with my head thrown back and my book dangling by two fingers.
I decided to give up. I came in, shuffled my cat Yoda off the covers, and settled in. I feel better now than I have in a long time. Apparently, I wasn't as recovered as I thought I was. At least I've got Spring Break to make up for lost time. I hope I can get another day to just loaf and read. I really can't imagine a tropical retreat that would be any more pleasurable.
Saturday, March 11, 2006
Miss Eudora's Photographs
A long time ago, I read about and saw a couple of the photographs Eudora Welty did for the WPA. I was struck by them at the time, and put it on my list of "things to explore". It fell by the wayside somewhat, as many things on that list tend to do when faced with the awesome demands of time and funds that is day-to-day life. Still, the idea of them was hovering around my memory.
About a month ago, I got to attend a seminar on Welty's fiction at Millsaps. Part of the seminar included a tour of the library's collection of photos from Welty. They were amazing. I loved her composition and the way she captured the spirits of the people she was photographing. I resolved to go ahead and actually get one of the collections of her photographs and explore further. I came home, went to my trusty laptop and amazon.com, and sent for Photographs, the collection of her work.
Today was the first time I've had time to do more than cursorily glance through. I sat today and savored each one. It's amazing how she was able to record the positive. It would have been so easy in that time and place to find darkness, despair, resistance, and resentment. We're talking about the segregated, poverty-stricken South of the 30s. What she found, however, was the indomitable, the joyous, the quietly hopeful, and the noble in her subjects. She records the dignity and the regal humanity of even the poorest of them. Even if I had never read her stories, I would love her for that alone.
I wish I could have known her. There are numerous anecdotes about people just sort of wandering up to her Jackson home and talking to her. I would never have been bold enough to do that. It would have been an inexcusable intrusion into a person's privacy. I still wish I had been fortunate enough to have been introduced and had a reason to know her. Not that I could have come up with intelligent conversation, but I think she would have been a great person to visit with. She seemed to have that now hard-to-find Southern class that comes not so much from money, but more from the constant awareness of others and a general concern for them. It's a graciousness that is in sharp demand and short supply these days.
I'm currently pursuing a Rolleiflex on eBay. I don't know yet whether or not I'll be lucky enough to win it. I want to try my hand at seeing through that lens. I am sure my amateurish efforts will never have a tenth of the clarity and...magic...of hers, but I think just the act will be wonderful. I enjoy trying to see the world through my Nikon. Perhaps I can achieve that clarity she found and revive my view of the basic goodness of humanity through the viewfinder of the Rollei.
About a month ago, I got to attend a seminar on Welty's fiction at Millsaps. Part of the seminar included a tour of the library's collection of photos from Welty. They were amazing. I loved her composition and the way she captured the spirits of the people she was photographing. I resolved to go ahead and actually get one of the collections of her photographs and explore further. I came home, went to my trusty laptop and amazon.com, and sent for Photographs, the collection of her work.
Today was the first time I've had time to do more than cursorily glance through. I sat today and savored each one. It's amazing how she was able to record the positive. It would have been so easy in that time and place to find darkness, despair, resistance, and resentment. We're talking about the segregated, poverty-stricken South of the 30s. What she found, however, was the indomitable, the joyous, the quietly hopeful, and the noble in her subjects. She records the dignity and the regal humanity of even the poorest of them. Even if I had never read her stories, I would love her for that alone.
I wish I could have known her. There are numerous anecdotes about people just sort of wandering up to her Jackson home and talking to her. I would never have been bold enough to do that. It would have been an inexcusable intrusion into a person's privacy. I still wish I had been fortunate enough to have been introduced and had a reason to know her. Not that I could have come up with intelligent conversation, but I think she would have been a great person to visit with. She seemed to have that now hard-to-find Southern class that comes not so much from money, but more from the constant awareness of others and a general concern for them. It's a graciousness that is in sharp demand and short supply these days.
I'm currently pursuing a Rolleiflex on eBay. I don't know yet whether or not I'll be lucky enough to win it. I want to try my hand at seeing through that lens. I am sure my amateurish efforts will never have a tenth of the clarity and...magic...of hers, but I think just the act will be wonderful. I enjoy trying to see the world through my Nikon. Perhaps I can achieve that clarity she found and revive my view of the basic goodness of humanity through the viewfinder of the Rollei.
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Stupidity
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. -- Abraham Lincoln
For some reason, I have a huge surge of energy that's keeping me up tonight, so I was cruising through amazon.com. I decided I'd look for another good book on pit bulls, especially one that deals with their health issues. When I came to the reviews for Pit Bulls for Dummies, I was disgusted by what I found there. Several miscellaneous fools had used the review site as a forum for their prejudiced and, in most cases, sadly misinformed diatribes about pit bulls.
Now, I'm not even going to dignify the "big bad scary evil dog" argument with a rebuttal. Throughout the past 20 or 30 years, there has been a dog breed that, for whatever reason, has been the "killer dog" du jour. It was Dobermans (Dobermen?) for awhile, then Rotties were on the hot seat. Now, pit bulls are the hunted ones. For more on the truth of these dogs, what they are and why they are what they are, please see a reputable site like The Real Pit Bull or expert trainer Diane Jessup's site. If you've read any of my previous postings, you know I am the proud owner of a beautiful red nose pitty princess, and I love this courageous, loyal, and exuberant breed.
What hacked me off about amazon wasn't just the rank and file stupidity of the "reviews", but more that they weren't reviews at all. None of those people then owned, had owned, or were planning to own either a pit bull or the book. My question is this: How in blue blazes did they get to be a published "review" at all? Is it a review if nobody is talking about the book?
There are forums for expressing personal opinion, for grandstanding, and for soapbox lecturing. I just don't think the review section of amazon.com is the place. If you read the book in question, great. Tell me what you thought. If you have no idea what the book is about, don't display your overwhelming vacuity to the entire e-universe. Get yourself a blog or a personal website and type yourself blue in the face. After all, that's what the polite rest of us do.
For some reason, I have a huge surge of energy that's keeping me up tonight, so I was cruising through amazon.com. I decided I'd look for another good book on pit bulls, especially one that deals with their health issues. When I came to the reviews for Pit Bulls for Dummies, I was disgusted by what I found there. Several miscellaneous fools had used the review site as a forum for their prejudiced and, in most cases, sadly misinformed diatribes about pit bulls.
Now, I'm not even going to dignify the "big bad scary evil dog" argument with a rebuttal. Throughout the past 20 or 30 years, there has been a dog breed that, for whatever reason, has been the "killer dog" du jour. It was Dobermans (Dobermen?) for awhile, then Rotties were on the hot seat. Now, pit bulls are the hunted ones. For more on the truth of these dogs, what they are and why they are what they are, please see a reputable site like The Real Pit Bull or expert trainer Diane Jessup's site. If you've read any of my previous postings, you know I am the proud owner of a beautiful red nose pitty princess, and I love this courageous, loyal, and exuberant breed.
What hacked me off about amazon wasn't just the rank and file stupidity of the "reviews", but more that they weren't reviews at all. None of those people then owned, had owned, or were planning to own either a pit bull or the book. My question is this: How in blue blazes did they get to be a published "review" at all? Is it a review if nobody is talking about the book?
There are forums for expressing personal opinion, for grandstanding, and for soapbox lecturing. I just don't think the review section of amazon.com is the place. If you read the book in question, great. Tell me what you thought. If you have no idea what the book is about, don't display your overwhelming vacuity to the entire e-universe. Get yourself a blog or a personal website and type yourself blue in the face. After all, that's what the polite rest of us do.
AAARRRGGHHH!!!
I feel like I'm going to die. My temperature keeps spiking. I went to school today, possibly one of my least considered choices ever, and I clung to the edges of control by tooth and nail.
I wish I could just stay home and not worry about it. I don't know why I drag myself up there when I'm sick. Deep down, I suppose I feel that unless I'm on life support, I should go.
Add to this the fact that we're in state testing season, and you have a perfect cocktail of guilt designed to pry me from the blissful comfort of my bed and my Kleenex. If only it weren't the week before Spring Break. If only it weren't the week before the writing test.
Despite all these things, if I feel as bad tomorrow morning as I did this morning, I'm staying home. Yup, the walls may collapse on my end of the high school hall, but I'm not able to put myself through what I went through today.
I wish I could just stay home and not worry about it. I don't know why I drag myself up there when I'm sick. Deep down, I suppose I feel that unless I'm on life support, I should go.
Add to this the fact that we're in state testing season, and you have a perfect cocktail of guilt designed to pry me from the blissful comfort of my bed and my Kleenex. If only it weren't the week before Spring Break. If only it weren't the week before the writing test.
Despite all these things, if I feel as bad tomorrow morning as I did this morning, I'm staying home. Yup, the walls may collapse on my end of the high school hall, but I'm not able to put myself through what I went through today.
Sunday, March 05, 2006
Sick Again
The creeping crud has crept up on me and caught me unawares. Yesterday, I started to cough a little and it hurt. Today, I feel as though a truck has backed over me and I'm running a fever. Joy.
When am I ever going to get any immunity? I know that all the kids and most of the teachers have been hacking and sniffing for awhile now, but it seems like every time I turn around I'm sick. Shouldn't I be building up some tolerance by now? This is almost the end of the second year.
I already called in and asked for a sub since I'm running fever. No point in my spreading it further. I'll go see the doctor tomorrow, get a hip full of decadron and some antibiotics that hopefully won't make me ill, and go back to school on Tuesday. Life goes on.
On a separate subject, I am looking at just about the cutest thing in the world. My pit bull has commandeered one end of my couch and my little golden beagle/dachshund has taken the other. They are both knocked out. The pit bull snores. :) That is what happiness is for me right now, a couch full of warm, content, snoring dogs.
I'm about to go join them. I slept about 14 hours today, but I'm still exhausted. Maybe tomorrow I'll feel better.
When am I ever going to get any immunity? I know that all the kids and most of the teachers have been hacking and sniffing for awhile now, but it seems like every time I turn around I'm sick. Shouldn't I be building up some tolerance by now? This is almost the end of the second year.
I already called in and asked for a sub since I'm running fever. No point in my spreading it further. I'll go see the doctor tomorrow, get a hip full of decadron and some antibiotics that hopefully won't make me ill, and go back to school on Tuesday. Life goes on.
On a separate subject, I am looking at just about the cutest thing in the world. My pit bull has commandeered one end of my couch and my little golden beagle/dachshund has taken the other. They are both knocked out. The pit bull snores. :) That is what happiness is for me right now, a couch full of warm, content, snoring dogs.
I'm about to go join them. I slept about 14 hours today, but I'm still exhausted. Maybe tomorrow I'll feel better.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern
I've been working on R&G now for about 3 weeks with my AP classes, and their reception of the work has been less than warm, to say the least. It's been downright depressing at times.
It's not so much that I care whether they like the play or not. That's a personal thing, and no classroom full of people is ever going to like any work universally. That's fine. In fact, I'd be deeply worried by that kind of bandwagon consensus.
It's that they can't seem to find anything redeeming in it. I know they're young. I keep telling myself that. When I was young, I probably wouldn't have enjoyed it, either. Heck, it's not my all-time favorite now, even as a member of the English-geek tribe. I just hate seeing them act like they are.
I expect too much of them, I think. I expect them to be something more than senior. I expect them to hunger to learn, and I forget that frequently teenagers don't give a crap about school, even the "cream of the crop." I just want for them to make the best of all the latent ability they contain. I know they'll walk different paths, but I learned long ago that everything you learn, every tiny shred, opens up the world exponentially.
I don't think I'm going to teach this next year. If I approach it at all, I'll let them watch it at the end of the Hamlet unit rather than a video of Hamlet. I think that will be a better compromise. Maybe we can get through it without my being saddened.
It's not so much that I care whether they like the play or not. That's a personal thing, and no classroom full of people is ever going to like any work universally. That's fine. In fact, I'd be deeply worried by that kind of bandwagon consensus.
It's that they can't seem to find anything redeeming in it. I know they're young. I keep telling myself that. When I was young, I probably wouldn't have enjoyed it, either. Heck, it's not my all-time favorite now, even as a member of the English-geek tribe. I just hate seeing them act like they are.
I expect too much of them, I think. I expect them to be something more than senior. I expect them to hunger to learn, and I forget that frequently teenagers don't give a crap about school, even the "cream of the crop." I just want for them to make the best of all the latent ability they contain. I know they'll walk different paths, but I learned long ago that everything you learn, every tiny shred, opens up the world exponentially.
I don't think I'm going to teach this next year. If I approach it at all, I'll let them watch it at the end of the Hamlet unit rather than a video of Hamlet. I think that will be a better compromise. Maybe we can get through it without my being saddened.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Sunshine and Mountain Dew
Today, I packed up my workbag, and waiting for the grindingly slow progress of the clock hands toward 3:30. A small herd of students had sworn they were coming in to do makeup work (we're in the eleventh hour, so suddenly, everyone is in a state of panic), but nobody had shown up by 3:15, and I blew out my candle, shut down my computer, hoisted my ponderous bag, and bolted for the door.
It felt almost sinful to be leaving that early. Other teachers were still working in their classes; the sounds of the extended day students echoed in our high-ceilinged old halls. Sunlight streamed through the window so rich and so good that it almost had a taste as it flooded the central hall.
I moved down the stairs as fast as my stiff knees would allow, darted through the office, and then I was out into the parking lot. There were still cars there, and again, the feeling of doing something illicit through me. I put my PT Cruiser into reverse, rolled down my windows, cranked my Todd Agnew cd, and put the pedal down.
When I got home, again I marveled at the sheer luxury of being home in the daytime. I loosed Missy, she promptly took off to explore the privet hedge, and I got out a seldom-used plastic Adirondack chair.
Sitting beneath the bare branches of the chestnut tree in my backyard, I indulged in a Diet Mountain Dew and the first few chapters of A Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovitch. My bottle tree caught the golden afternoon sun, the windchimes rang softly, Missy and Yelldo intermittently gave me doggy kisses, and Granny's daffodils shone in Wordsworthian glory. I felt peace descend like a winged spirit, and all the tiredness that has been plaguing me for the past week melted away.
It was a brief interlude, but a vital one. I needed those peaceful moments alone at home more than I had realized. Tomorrow, when the students are apathetic, when another unreasonable demand on my time is made, I will have the soft daffodil-scented warmth of today to carry me through.
It felt almost sinful to be leaving that early. Other teachers were still working in their classes; the sounds of the extended day students echoed in our high-ceilinged old halls. Sunlight streamed through the window so rich and so good that it almost had a taste as it flooded the central hall.
I moved down the stairs as fast as my stiff knees would allow, darted through the office, and then I was out into the parking lot. There were still cars there, and again, the feeling of doing something illicit through me. I put my PT Cruiser into reverse, rolled down my windows, cranked my Todd Agnew cd, and put the pedal down.
When I got home, again I marveled at the sheer luxury of being home in the daytime. I loosed Missy, she promptly took off to explore the privet hedge, and I got out a seldom-used plastic Adirondack chair.
Sitting beneath the bare branches of the chestnut tree in my backyard, I indulged in a Diet Mountain Dew and the first few chapters of A Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovitch. My bottle tree caught the golden afternoon sun, the windchimes rang softly, Missy and Yelldo intermittently gave me doggy kisses, and Granny's daffodils shone in Wordsworthian glory. I felt peace descend like a winged spirit, and all the tiredness that has been plaguing me for the past week melted away.
It was a brief interlude, but a vital one. I needed those peaceful moments alone at home more than I had realized. Tomorrow, when the students are apathetic, when another unreasonable demand on my time is made, I will have the soft daffodil-scented warmth of today to carry me through.
Monday, February 27, 2006
Missy
Here she is, at long last. It was a rainy trip to Birmingham, but other than the rain, it went very smoothly. The very first thing she did when I got out of the car was to run up, put her paws around me, and kiss me on the cheek. She's so cute and so loving!
I will get to more actual blogging soon. Now, hopefully, we can find a rhythm and routine. I'm tired, but it's a good tired.
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
The Ides of February
Whooo-hooo!!!! I got the news today that I have been accepted by one of the Pit Bull Rescue groups, and a lovely red-nose pit mix named Missy is going to become a part of my family. I have to figure out the logistics of getting her here (she's in TN, currently) and the timing (I hope Spring Break is going to be okay), but it's official!
This experience has been a mixed thing. Some of the groups I've talked to have been so kind and encouraging, even if there were barriers (mostly distance) to my adopting one of their dogs. A couple of the groups have been downright rude, though. I guess they probably have a lot of email to sort through, but when a person is legitimately trying to adopt an animal, that sincere wish should at least be acknowledged with an automated email.
Back to Missy.... She's beautiful, and the rescue society lady says she's good with other dogs and playful. I am excited for Yelldo. He has been so sedentary since Britta died. He needs a friend to play with. I think, once we get over the shock of new dog in my space, he's going to have a good time.
You can see a picture of Missy on the PBRC rescue site. Click here to go straight to Missy. You may need to scroll down a bit.
Well, I'm off to an afternoon of "dog dreaming." I am going to Wal-Mart tomorrow to start getting presents for her. It's so amazing that she's finally going to be mine!
This experience has been a mixed thing. Some of the groups I've talked to have been so kind and encouraging, even if there were barriers (mostly distance) to my adopting one of their dogs. A couple of the groups have been downright rude, though. I guess they probably have a lot of email to sort through, but when a person is legitimately trying to adopt an animal, that sincere wish should at least be acknowledged with an automated email.
Back to Missy.... She's beautiful, and the rescue society lady says she's good with other dogs and playful. I am excited for Yelldo. He has been so sedentary since Britta died. He needs a friend to play with. I think, once we get over the shock of new dog in my space, he's going to have a good time.
You can see a picture of Missy on the PBRC rescue site. Click here to go straight to Missy. You may need to scroll down a bit.
Well, I'm off to an afternoon of "dog dreaming." I am going to Wal-Mart tomorrow to start getting presents for her. It's so amazing that she's finally going to be mine!
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
eHarmony II
Well, I have entered the world of eHarmony, and I have to say that I'm still feeling a little odd about it. I have met a nice guy that I'm writing emails to, and that's a good thing, but I'm still in the weird phase of this. No funny tales to tell yet, but I'll keep everybody posted.
Saturday, February 11, 2006
Snowy Saturday
That's right...snow. We've had flurries off and on today. I can't express how odd that is to those of us who live in Mississippi. Any trace of snow is cause to press one's nose up against the window and make preparations better suited to an eight-foot blizzard than a dusting of white. Bread and milk become scarce commodities, people drive at absurd speeds, and children cling to the radios in silent prayer for those most blessed of words, "Schools are closed today." If there is even a fraction of an inch of accumulation, tiny muddy snowmen appear like mushrooms on porches, in driveways, and wherever else the meager amounts of snow can be scraped together.
My dog, Yelldo, has had a wonderful day. He has been in various stages of unconscious sprawl on the leopard print furry blanket on my couch. Every once in awhile, he rolls, opens his eyes minutely, sighs deeply, and wiggles in bliss. Even getting him to go outside to take care of the call of Nature has been an effort today. I don't much blame him.
I spent the day watching one of my favorite film noir movies, Laura. It was a good day for old movies. I also watched IU play basketball. We lost. I was proud that we came back from such a great deficit, but it was sad anyway.
After watching, I got a burst of energy and tidied some of the mess here in the house up. There's a lot I can't do until I get the flooring back in the kitchen, but the word has come that next week is the week the installers are coming. Maybe by next weekend, I'll have my washer and dryer running again and get my refridgerator out of my living room.
There's really nothing else to tell. It was just a peaceful, if cold and snowy, Saturday.
My dog, Yelldo, has had a wonderful day. He has been in various stages of unconscious sprawl on the leopard print furry blanket on my couch. Every once in awhile, he rolls, opens his eyes minutely, sighs deeply, and wiggles in bliss. Even getting him to go outside to take care of the call of Nature has been an effort today. I don't much blame him.
I spent the day watching one of my favorite film noir movies, Laura. It was a good day for old movies. I also watched IU play basketball. We lost. I was proud that we came back from such a great deficit, but it was sad anyway.
After watching, I got a burst of energy and tidied some of the mess here in the house up. There's a lot I can't do until I get the flooring back in the kitchen, but the word has come that next week is the week the installers are coming. Maybe by next weekend, I'll have my washer and dryer running again and get my refridgerator out of my living room.
There's really nothing else to tell. It was just a peaceful, if cold and snowy, Saturday.
Friday, February 10, 2006
Fear and eHarmony.com
Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.
Rita May Brown
I did it. I sucked it up, typed in my credit card information, and joined eHarmony. I have a curious blend of feelings about the whole situation.
Part of me is relieved. Finally, I've gotten off my posterior and taken what will hopefully be a positive step toward finding somebody I can stand. I have good luck with finding things on the computer. After all, eBay and amazon have been good to me over the years. Whenever I've wanted something that I couldn't find locally, the magic of the internet has always come through for me.
Part of me is scared to death. What if there aren't any matches for me? What if I get an email from Neil Clark Warren saying they're refunding my money because they can't find anybody suitable? What if there ARE matches for me? I am hopeless with men. Truly, truly, hopeless. That's how I have gotten into my current situation after all.
Part of me wonders about the possibility of finding true love online. Despite the propaganda in You've Got Mail and every eHarmony TV commercial, I wonder if this is a good way to meet people.
As Eleanor Roosevelt said, "You must do the thing you think you cannot do." I am tired of just wishing for somebody, and I don't know any other step that I would be willing or able to take right now. Sooooo....here we go. Maybe it will at least provide interesting anecdotes....
Rita May Brown
I did it. I sucked it up, typed in my credit card information, and joined eHarmony. I have a curious blend of feelings about the whole situation.
Part of me is relieved. Finally, I've gotten off my posterior and taken what will hopefully be a positive step toward finding somebody I can stand. I have good luck with finding things on the computer. After all, eBay and amazon have been good to me over the years. Whenever I've wanted something that I couldn't find locally, the magic of the internet has always come through for me.
Part of me is scared to death. What if there aren't any matches for me? What if I get an email from Neil Clark Warren saying they're refunding my money because they can't find anybody suitable? What if there ARE matches for me? I am hopeless with men. Truly, truly, hopeless. That's how I have gotten into my current situation after all.
Part of me wonders about the possibility of finding true love online. Despite the propaganda in You've Got Mail and every eHarmony TV commercial, I wonder if this is a good way to meet people.
As Eleanor Roosevelt said, "You must do the thing you think you cannot do." I am tired of just wishing for somebody, and I don't know any other step that I would be willing or able to take right now. Sooooo....here we go. Maybe it will at least provide interesting anecdotes....
Sunday, February 05, 2006
The Gentle Art of Procrastination
One thing that's good about procrastination is that you always have something planned for tomorrow.
Gil Stern
This is a record...three postings in one day. Can you tell that I have reams of papers waiting to be graded?
It's amazing how appealing all other things become when I have papers to grade. In fact, I really cannot get any work done here at home. That's the main reason I stay at school so long each day; I know that saying, "I'll do it tonight at home" is just a big lie. It's not even a good lie. Nobody else is fooled, and I certainly know myself well enough not to believe it.
Through the years, I've gotten myself into all kinds of jams because of procrastination. I'll never forget the all-important paper in grad school I neglected to even start writing until 1:00 a.m. the day it was due. I think I spent most of that time procrastinating by playing a game on the computer.
Today, so far, I've gone to town with my dad for lunch, wandered around our local home improvement store aimlessly, refilled bird feeders (the feathered pigs are cleaning me out), looked over two or three well-thumbed catalogs, put away laundry, and of course, blogged. I keep telling myself that in thirty minutes, I'm going to get serious and get the work done. In reality, next thing I know it will be midnight and I'll just write it off and go to bed.
I think I'll try to break the cycle. I'm going to finish this off and start work on the handout my AP kids will need tomorrow. On the other hand, the house could use a general tidying, and I think Yelldo needs a bath....
Gil Stern
This is a record...three postings in one day. Can you tell that I have reams of papers waiting to be graded?
It's amazing how appealing all other things become when I have papers to grade. In fact, I really cannot get any work done here at home. That's the main reason I stay at school so long each day; I know that saying, "I'll do it tonight at home" is just a big lie. It's not even a good lie. Nobody else is fooled, and I certainly know myself well enough not to believe it.
Through the years, I've gotten myself into all kinds of jams because of procrastination. I'll never forget the all-important paper in grad school I neglected to even start writing until 1:00 a.m. the day it was due. I think I spent most of that time procrastinating by playing a game on the computer.
Today, so far, I've gone to town with my dad for lunch, wandered around our local home improvement store aimlessly, refilled bird feeders (the feathered pigs are cleaning me out), looked over two or three well-thumbed catalogs, put away laundry, and of course, blogged. I keep telling myself that in thirty minutes, I'm going to get serious and get the work done. In reality, next thing I know it will be midnight and I'll just write it off and go to bed.
I think I'll try to break the cycle. I'm going to finish this off and start work on the handout my AP kids will need tomorrow. On the other hand, the house could use a general tidying, and I think Yelldo needs a bath....
The Is of the Thing
The Is of the Thing
This is a blog started just today by a friend of mine. If you're looking for some good reading, I recommend trying his site.
This is a blog started just today by a friend of mine. If you're looking for some good reading, I recommend trying his site.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)