Irritated and Embarrassed

The rate at which a person can mature is directly proportional to the embarrassment he can tolerate.
Douglas Engelbart


I had to watch as my parents cut my grass today. The antibiotics or some of the other crap I'm taking has made me so sun sensitive that my skin reddens even in the 15 minutes it takes me to drive from town to home. Because of this, my yard has been looking derelict in the extreme.

One of my biggest faults is an inability to take help from other people. I always feel so embarrassed that I can't do it myself. I guess it's a form of egotism like anything else. I feel like I should be able to do it all, and I hate the humbling that comes when I realize that I can't. Maybe I never gave up the idea of being Wonder Woman even though I grew out of my Underoos a long, long time ago.

I guess, once in a while, I need to fall on my face just to be reminded that nobody does it all by themselves. It just irritates me and embarrasses me that I have human weaknesses. I expect too much from myself and I have to find some way of learning to take help with fewer feelings of failure. I am so grateful to my parents for helping me out while I'm sick, but I sure do hope that this crap passes soon so I can don my cape again and head back out into the world.