Penryn Castle, or Chickens of the World Unite

"You must do the thing you think you cannot do." -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Today I literally took a leap of faith. I abseiled (aka rapelled, and no, I don't know the difference) down the side of a castle tower. Really.

I wasn't at all nervous going up. I knew I wouldn't be. I was actually sleepy from being so tired. The group I was with was singing the whole way up the tower. We went last, so it took a couple of hours for us to reach the top and the platform. The castle, Penryn, is here in North Wales, and is a showy castle rather than a defensive one. It was beautiful.

When we went out to the castle to start the abseiling, it was raining. We all got soaked. Again, another important moment in my life with rain. We stood outside in it anyway and yelled for everyone as they came to the top. It was such a supportive group of people.

When I got to the top, I could feel my pulse pick up. I knew that was going to happen. I'd been able to put in my "creative reality" until then and had mostly convinced myself that there was nothing to be afraid of. Try putting that over on yourself when you're looking down the side of a castle.

They harnessed me in and I stepped up on the metal platform from which I would descend....and I froze solid. I couldn't let go. I wanted to go, but I couldn't feel the harness supporting me, and images of Wile E. Coyote falling down the cliff face kept running through my head. The wonderful pro who was helping me finally talked me into leaning back far enough that my weight would be supported by the harness, I reached the "Point of No Return", and suddenly, against every better instinct I've ever had, I was dangling off the ground trying to get down the side of a stone tower. Without a doubt, it was one of those "is this my life?" moments.

To tell the truth, I'm not sure how much I remember about the trip down. I remember it being exhilarating and I remember my shoulder hurting from trying to control the line, but I didn't exactly look around a lot. My only thought, truly, was to get down the side of the stupid thing.

I did it. The long and short of it is, I did it. And now, I don't have to be afraid of that anymore. It was very liberating for me. I have been sort of dreading that ever since I first heard about it. I wasn't "too big". I was able to be harnessed and to get up and down all the ladders. They didn't have to pull in a crane to support me. I feel great!

The quote at the beginning from E. Roosevelt kept coming to me the entire time I was up on that tower. To be honest, I think it is the reason I didn't chicken out entirely. Ultimately, the possibility of falling was less scary that the self I'd have to live with if I went down the stairs rather than the line.