Kate Chopin and the Trip

No quote today, at least for this one. There will probably be several posts over the next few days as I sort out things from the trip.

I reread The Awakening by Kate Chopin right before I left for my trip. Perhaps that was a mistake.

I have come back a different person than when I left. Of course, this happens anytime a person travels, but it's very strong this time. I don't know if it's like an allergic reaction that will go away, or if I've finally gone off my rocker for good. All I know is that I'm different.

As I was on the trip, it seemed like my opinions and feelings were different from the other two leaders on almost every issue. Once, I would have bowed my head and said nothing. This trip, though, I thought, "Screw it. This, for better or worse, is what I really believe. Why should I feel ashamed of it?" These weren't huge moral issues. These were everyday life issues. What does it matter if I have a different view? Do I have to agree with everybody else?

Increasingly, I guess, I just don't fit in with the "genteel Southern lady" image. Once, I think I really wanted to be that, but now, I think I'd rather just be me. I'm happier that way, and it's so much more honest. I guess some people will always think me strange, but at least I will be true to myself. With my family and my group of friends, I don't think I'll ever have to face Edna's dilemma, but I can appreciate how suddenly the world can shift out from under your feet much better now.