Different

I've gone through another door lately in my life.  Things are different on the other side of it.  Maybe it's being on the "other side" of 35.  Maybe it's the international travel.  Maybe it's the freedom I found after all the bullshit at the end of last school year.  Whatever it is, some things have changed.

I bought dresses and skirts today.  It may sound like nothing, but for me, that's a huge change.  I wanted them and I intend to wear them, so instead of other things that didn't appeal to me, I bought them.  I also have shoes on the way here from Zappos.  I might not look like a total refugee this school year.

I'm cooking breakfast and making coffee in the mornings, dinner sometimes in the evening.  As if the cooking wasn't a big enough change, the coffee all by itself is a huge thing.  Just the smell of it in the morning reminds me of my Dad and my grandfathers.  In fact, I can almost see my Granddaddy sitting here in the living room with the bowl and mug he always drank his coffee in.  The echo and connection is an added pleasure to the beverage itself.

There are other things that are going to take some time to follow through with.  I just don't see things the way I did not that long ago.  It's nice.  It's a relief.  I was tired of that point of view, tired of that person.  While I'm still trying to figure out all the new corners of this space I'm currently in, it has to be better than where I was.