Introverts Abroad

It's hard to be an introvert on a group trip.  I don't want to appear antisocial or disinterested, but there are moments when I deeply, profoundly, and truly need time to myself.  I like all the people on the trip.  They are interesting, intelligent, insightful, and yet, when I've been crammed into meeting rooms and on buses with them for eight hours, I start to feel my edges fray.

I don't know if any of them feel this or not.  I can't tell if I'm the only "quiet one" or not.  I don't want to be the one who hides up in her room, and, as far as I know, I haven't been, but I need to be quiet some, think some, recharge some.  I don't think extroverts get that.  I think they take it personally when, really, it doesn't have anything to do with them.  I've been on trips where I (and others like me, the quiet ones) also have been shut out of doing everything with the group out of some misunderstanding of what this is.

So for those of you who don't get it, let me explain and make a small request:  this is not about being stuck up.  It's not that the quiet chick in the corner doesn't want to do stuff with you.  It's that sometimes she desperately needs not to.  Not always.  And most of the time she really wants to.  But sometimes, just briefly, she is going to need that little bit of alone time.  She feeds off it the way you feed off being in a crowd.

I have often thought that life must be so much easier for extroverts.  They can walk into a crowded space and, zing, their little internal batteries are charging right up.  I don't even know what that must be like.  I have to push myself, and then, by the end of the day, I'm worn out with it.

This trip has included several breaks between things so I can come back to the room for a few precious minutes of recharging.  Even more important, I have no roommate, so in the evenings, total privacy and necessary solitude is mine.  I can face the others in the morning refreshed and ready to enjoy them again.

There is no point in wishing I were not this way.  There are a lot of books and things out now talking about the benefits to individuals and society of the introvert.  I haven't read the first one of those, but I can't believe it's all bad.  It's just different, and I wish it were better understood by the "other half."  I hope the people on this trip will be tolerant of me.  So far so good.  Maybe if I can push forward and they can wait just a minute while I catch my breath, all will be well.