Returning to Yoga

I did my first yoga practice in almost a year tonight. It was delightful.  I feel loose and somehow liquid right now, lighter, as though everything is liquid and I am swimming through it with each motion.  I love that feeling.

I was so fearful when I went in.  The last several practices I did were literal exercises in pain.  All I could think of as I started practice tonight was that horrible dull pain and burning band that were there when my knee gave out.  As we did a few modified Warrior poses tonight, I waited for the pain to come, and there was not even the faintest twinge.  No burn, no weakness, no catch or pause, no feeling like sandpaper.  I wanted to dance and sing.  It was amazing. 

I did tree pose, my favorite pose on both legs tonight.  My right leg was not as stable as the left, of course, but I balanced for a long time on it.  I laughed out loud while I did it, thinking of all those hours I put in this summer standing on leg leaning down to touch those up-ended weights one after the other to restore my balance.  It was so worth it.  All the pain and sweat of the surgery and the PT that followed was worth it for tonight, for those beautiful moments of Dancing Warrior, Bound Warrior, and Tree Pose. 

I don't know if I will ever work back up into my full extensions on the Warriors.  I don't know if I will ever be able to get into Child's Pose and put that hard bend on my knees.  It doesn't matter.  I am at peace with what I can do, whatever that turns out to be.  It's a wonderful blessing that I can do any of it at all.