When I'm 35

Around mid-life everyone goes maniac a little bit. ~ Tom Berenger 

I'm contemplating having a midlife crisis here in a few months when I turn 35.  Can you do that?  How type-A is it that I'm planning my crisis....  Anyway, I think I'm about due.  I've been staid and predictable for a very long time now.  Dependable.  Everybody's go-to-girl.  While I don't know how much of that will change in February, sometimes it's fun to turn over a few options I might take up when the auspicious day arrives:

My Midlife Crisis To-Do List:

1. Get Muscle Car -- Preferably Big HEMI Dodge Charger.  Since this is my personal fantasy, let's pretend that for some silly reason I fell into money and don't have to play "who am I paying this month?" with my bills anymore and can buy anything I like.  Let's make that Charger a Super Bee.  Yeah.  Let's.
2. Find Erudite and Lovely Male to Worship Me -- He should be able to cook and give killer backrubs.  If he's never read a freakin' book or will only consume food of the hamburger persuasion, he can just get out.  He should also be able to perceive when it's time to shut up and be useful in other ways, too.
3. Finally Get Tattoo -- Because I will now be ready to throw caution to the wind, I will finally just bite the fear bullet and get the design I have prepared done.  It will be in every way lovely, and I will feel exceedingly empowered by just going.
4. Take Fabulous Trip With Friends -- Don't know where; don't know when.  We will, however, all load up and go somewhere.  It will be a mighty journey that the lucky destination will write tales of for generations.  Husbands and the Lovely Male may not go.  I suppose they may take a trip of their own if they like.
5. Write the Book -- I will stop fiddling about with the eight-pages-at-a-time publication system and I will actually get the courage up to take the storyline I've had in my head for the last ten years and make it a reality.  I try not to think about the fact that just writing this down makes me a cliche.  Sigh...

That's probably enough insanity to be going on with.  I might as well also throw in some frolicking and some insouciance as well. One or two of these things are definitely not going to happen.  I mean, OBVIOUSLY.  A couple of the others might.  I'll leave it to your good intelligence to figure out which ones are which. As I said earlier, this is just me relieving stress by musing in print, playing in pixels. A birthday doesn't have to indicate a crisis, I suppose.  Whatever I manage to come up with, though, I guess it ought to be awfully fun to watch from the sidelines.