Wishing for Clarity

Lately, I've been having that "something's missing" feeling again, that feeling that I need to be going or doing or seeing something else. It's itchy feet season for me, and I know it will only get worse as October progresses. I don't know why it's always this time of year when I start looking off and away to the horizons, start to feel my wings flutter, wishing to unfurl and carry me far away.

I want to see something that isn't here. I want it so badly that I can taste it. I want it so badly that I'm dreaming of it, dreaming of putting my old backpack on and becoming a face in a crowd somewhere, jetlagged and awestruck, sliding through a throng of people in a place where I don't speak the language to see something older than my country. Alternately, I would also be happy taking the same backpack and going to a place where there is practically nobody, sitting on a hillside and watching nature explain itself for a few days. Just somewhere else, some other nature.

I wish somebody would just show up at my house, throw me in the back of a vehicle, and take me out of town for a few days. Every time an opportunity has come up for me to go and do lately, something has come up to prevent my taking advantage of it. Maybe if somebody just kidnapped me, I wouldn't be able to come up with an excuse. I need to get out of my routine, out of myself for a little while, and sometimes the only way I can escape all that is to get away physically.

If I don't go somewhere soon, the Stupids are going to kick in, and God help us all if my reckless side gets a chance to bare its teeth and come out to play.... The decisions I make when the Stupids kick in invariably go something like this, "Yeah. Okay. Why the ($#* not? Might be fun. Sure." And while that's a great attitude to have sometimes because it keeps your mind open and allows you to have new experiences, the little sensor upstairs should always be active. When the Stupids kick in, the little sensor folds up his chair and goes home for about a week, so just about everything not involving illegal substances suddenly sounds like a good idea. That's how I wound up with T., one big, bad, serious case of the Stupids. Had the little sensor been doing his job, I would have run far, far away from that whole thing...

Therefore, I think I have to plan some kind of trip soon for public safety. Otherwise, gentle readers, it may be up to you to come after me with the butterfly nets when the Stupids get me. All I'll ask of you is that you please be gentle.