Today, when someone said something about why I hadn't dealt with an online assignment system I run IMMEDIATELY late at night, I replied it was because I'd been busy with other things. As the students left the class, I heard one of them say something to the effect of, "Well, I guess maybe she does have a life!"
What a shocking revelation! My God, no! It makes me laugh the way students perceive their teachers outside school. We are either supposed to roll into a corner and plug into a recharging socket or hang upside down from our ceiling perches until dawn brings a new teaching day.
Here, then are some imaginary explanations for what I might have been doing instead of updating Shelfari:
1) I was selected to be a judge at a semi-professional Elvis impersonator competition. I spent my evening listening to novel interpretations of "Love Me Tender," "Don't Be Cruel," and "Jailhouse Rock." When that 70-year-old man from Japan stepped out in that rhinestone spangled jumpsuit, struck a pose, and started into "A Little More Action," I really think that might be the best night I've ever had. Really.
2) Through a set of circumstances that would take far too long to explain here, I sort of wound up fighting off an elite team of assassins. Nerf was involved. That is all I'm allowed to say about the incident at this time. When the appropriate agencies all decide that the papers are declassified, I'll probably revisit the incident again in my blog. Since it crosses international lines, it may be awhile. Maybe all the scars will have faded by then, though....
3) Well, there was this sort of grinding noise in my back yard, and I looked out there was a big, blue, wooden box out there with a flashing light on the top. The doors opened, and this lovely lanky guy came out of it talking all British at me and really, it's lucky at all that I'm back in this time and on this planet at all....
4) I could say elves to you, but it isn't elves exactly, and I'd rather you said it for yourself. (about four thousand bonus points to you, a homework pass, a gold star, and my undying admiration if you catch that reference)
5) An absolutely majestic performance on the flying trapeze, center ring, with the circus that passed through town last night. You missed it. You should have seen it. I had a spangly costume and everything.
6) I was forced to pretend to be married when the student from my past who sort of proposed to me ("What sort of man are you looking for teacher? Let me tell you what sort of man you are looking for..." describes creepy, creepy self "You could never marry any other type of man, teacher....") showed up on my doorstep. This farce went on for quite some time and wound up involving a good friend and several neighborhood children who guest starred as my "husband" and "kids" before it was done. The film version will be hitting the big screen sometime around Christmas....
7) Okay, so there was this guy, and this big, fast Honda bike, and Louisiana in the evening, and...well....
I think this amused me even if it didn't do anything for you. Sorry to drag you through it, but you know how it goes, darlin'.....
I'll take my homework pass, gold star, and undying admiration now. It was your mom's English class that we did Mending Wall right? I admit I had to look up the name, but I do remember the poem. "Good fences make good neighbors." :) And you forgot 8)You were out with your cricket bat fighting off hordes of the undead. Love ya! -C
ReplyDeleteYes, indeed. And how could I have forgotten the cricket bat! Good catch. :)
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