Certain Questions I'd Like the Chance to Ask

Right now there are several things stressing me out greatly.  Unfortunately, in the way of such things, I cannot seem to get all the pieces to resolve themselves into order.  Therefore, I'm going to ponder them here just a little.  Since nobody reads this AT ALL except for the Beowulf's Boast, I don't think it will matter.  I could probably post a four-page-long adventure in erotica and nobody would raise the slightest flutter.  And you know what?  Maybe one of these freaking DAYS I WILL just to see if anybody is paying attention. (GROWL.)  But (folding my hands in the most lady-like of ways), readership isn't the point right now.  And.  I'm not doing this for anybody else, anyway.  So, with no further delay, the questions that are weighing most heavily on my mind, deliberately denuded of context:

• What the sam-hill is the matter with you?  Why are you acting like this?  Did you fall and hit your head on something?  No?  Then GET OVER YOURSELF.  CHEEZUS. 
• Really?  REALLY?  You're going to sit there and tell me you didn't know this?  I'm sorry.  Give me a minute to laugh myself hysterical, and then I'll go pull the REAMS OF PROOF to show you wrong out of a drawer.
• If you're not okay with it, WHY DO YOU KEEP TELLING ME THAT YOU ARE?  Can't we just please be past that?
• At what point did you come to believe that you are the center of my whole universe? Recheck your premise.  Your logic is not only flawed, it is shattered.
• The more you push me, the less I'll do what you want.  The harder you pull, the quicker I'll run.  Haven't you realized that?