Deep Breath

I am taking a deep breath.  I just stopped running.  I just made the appointment I've been avoiding for two years.  Like some kind of ostrich with my stupid head in the sand, I've been pretending that nothing could possibly be wrong if I didn't go.  It's the sort of thing I'd kick anybody I loved right straight in the backside for. There is no logic in it, nothing intelligent or wise.  I ended it, and my hands are shaking just from the phone call. It might be nothing.  It might be the beginning of an end.  I won't know for a couple of very scary weeks.  Everybody bear with me.