Rarely do I have to say that I'm afraid to start a day. Only maybe three or four times that I can think of has that been true in my whole life. There have been mornings tinged with nervous anticipation or even out-and-out dread of what was coming, but usually this creeping unease is not the dominant emotion in my life.
I don't know what's coming today. I have no way to know. It's been so hard lately. It's felt like standing in the bottom of a cistern with water pouring in from every angle even as it rises up from below. I've been trying to figure out what the right thing to do is, what the best and wisest path to follow should be, but even Daedalus never drew up a Labyrinth like this. I'm not sure there are any safe paths. I'm not even sure there are any safe places left to stand without pitfalls waiting to drop me into some oubliette where agony awaits.
Will the right things be said? Will I be able to keep a rein on my notorious temper? Will anything change, or will it all be a gigantic moment of anti-climax in which all of this will, once again, have been for nothing?
Can I live with whatever the outcome is, most especially if it turns out to be just another one of those moments of "sound and fury" that are so common?
Ah, God, help me.....
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And then you said.....