Close your eyes, close your door
You don't have to worry any more
I'll be your baby tonight.
Shut the light, shut the shade
You don't have to be afraid
I'll be your baby tonight.
Well, that mockingbird's gonna sail away
We're gonna forget it
That big, fat moon is gonna shine like a spoon
But we're gonna let it
You won't regret it.
Kick your shoes off, do not fear
Bring that bottle over here
I'll be your baby tonight.
~ "I'll Be Your Baby Tonight" - Bob Dylan
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This song makes me grin. It's just bold as brass, isn't it? It isn't really promising anything except the obvious. There is no commitment, no hearts or flowers, no long-term in it. Perhaps it's really the sort of thing any self-respecting woman should roll her eyes at and say, "Boy, please. Get out." I guess I should be after rings, vows, and things.
And yet.
I have this sort of weakness for these very honest statements of intent. "Kathleen" by Josh Ritter is this way, too. I was once trying to explain that to somebody, and I think I did it badly. The person on the other end of the conversation paused and asked something like, "You do know he's trying to seduce her, right?" Yeah. I'm not stupid. I know. But he's not hiding it at all. It's totally out in the open. There is no game, none of those insulting attempts at stealth to it. For some reason, I always find that amusing, charming, and interesting. Everybody's cards are on the table and choices can be made.
Is it always a good idea to go with these bold advances? That, I can't tell you. After all, at the end of "Kathleen," they're both left with that bittersweet secret. What will the two of the lovers in the song above feel when the night is over? Even relationships that start out this way sometimes break. My relationship with T. began with a bit of fearless samurai-ism on his part (his approach to relationships matched his approach to handling the blade, you see, and fool that I am, I admired both), and it ended oh so VERY badly. I fervently wish I'd taken one of T's bokken and beaten him black and blue just once, when it was done. I can't say it was all bad in honesty, but did it go so wrong because it started with such directness? Do these forward charges ever end in something that isn't broken and temporary? That's the question that sort of haunts me as I continue to smile softly to myself even when I hear the words, "I know you are waiting and I know it is not for me/But I'm here and I'm ready and I've saved you the passenger seat...." Is it ever right to rush in? Does it ever begin something that isn't just the start of "a new kind of hell"?
And yet.
I have this sort of weakness for these very honest statements of intent. "Kathleen" by Josh Ritter is this way, too. I was once trying to explain that to somebody, and I think I did it badly. The person on the other end of the conversation paused and asked something like, "You do know he's trying to seduce her, right?" Yeah. I'm not stupid. I know. But he's not hiding it at all. It's totally out in the open. There is no game, none of those insulting attempts at stealth to it. For some reason, I always find that amusing, charming, and interesting. Everybody's cards are on the table and choices can be made.
Is it always a good idea to go with these bold advances? That, I can't tell you. After all, at the end of "Kathleen," they're both left with that bittersweet secret. What will the two of the lovers in the song above feel when the night is over? Even relationships that start out this way sometimes break. My relationship with T. began with a bit of fearless samurai-ism on his part (his approach to relationships matched his approach to handling the blade, you see, and fool that I am, I admired both), and it ended oh so VERY badly. I fervently wish I'd taken one of T's bokken and beaten him black and blue just once, when it was done. I can't say it was all bad in honesty, but did it go so wrong because it started with such directness? Do these forward charges ever end in something that isn't broken and temporary? That's the question that sort of haunts me as I continue to smile softly to myself even when I hear the words, "I know you are waiting and I know it is not for me/But I'm here and I'm ready and I've saved you the passenger seat...." Is it ever right to rush in? Does it ever begin something that isn't just the start of "a new kind of hell"?
I don't know, and I am unsure exactly why, knowing what I do about how it usually ends, I continue to find these so appealing. I guess the strength in me is responding to the strength it indicates. It does, after all, take a strong and confident man to step out and declare his intent in this way. I may never find anyone to stand beside me on this path I'm walking, but I know that if I do, he by God better have a spine of steel. I could never respect anyone who did not have a strong sense of who he was, know what he wanted, and was not willing to reach out his hand and, with honesty, try to have it in whatever arena. Ultimately, I think that's what makes me a fan of these songs. Maybe someday, I'll find a man to match the music.
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