Corner

I felt ridiculously good today.  Like...Damon-Salvatore-kissed-me-good.   (ha.  I made a stupid funny.  like that.)  I don't know why, but I've been grinning all day long.  I've had a mental playlist clicking through good songs in my head when I haven't actually had music that I like playing in my room.  I've been more like my old self than I've been in, well, longer than I can remember.

It was great.  I'm very conscious that I am not exactly that person anymore because that old person would have reacted very differently to a couple of situations I faced today, would have gotten angry when faced with two or three things, would have been distressed by others.  The person that I have am at the present has sort of decided that I can't fix every stupid broken thing, looked those issues directly in the eyes and called them what they were (stupid and broken), made the sign of the cross over them, and let them go.  I am proud of this.  It made me a better person for the rest of the day.  I am not going to keep destroying myself over things I cannot control.  It betters nothing and no one.  I cannot help myself or others in that situation.  I may yet chose to throw myself on the pyre someday if it's necessary, but by God, I'm not doing it for nothing.  I am going to pick my battles better.  I don't have to bleed every day.

I also had moments of pure laughter today with my classes like I haven't had in a long time.  One class got off on a brief tangent and I wound up with a "stripper name."  It didn't offend me; you have to work really hard to offend me, and they weren't trying.  They were kidding around, and it was a random comment that just made me laugh.  I'm afraid my new name wasn't fancy or salacious at all.  Just the idea of me in that role humored me endlessly.  Yeeeeah.  Talk about Things That Will Not Happen.  I mean, come on....  I'm hardly anybody's idea of that, I think.

I got work done.  I put up my Christmas lights in my room and all my little decorations, including my Santa Elvis  bear who sings "Blue Christmas" and dances.  I stuck the small Santa hat on Shakespeare.  I rigged an old Yankee Candle I love so I could use part of it in my Scentsy warmer, and now my room smells like Christmas, too.  Every small thing I did made me just a little happier.

I don't know if it's just getting all the rest over Thanksgiving, finally getting that huge thing out of the way with the doctor or other things, but whatever it is, oh how I hope it lasts.  The only thing that could actually make it better is getting to see some of the people I love who are so busy and far away, and I think some of that will happen this weekend.  That will be great, and I can't wait.  I've been looking forward to it for a long time now.

Well, that and if Damon Salvatore actually shows up, obviously, because, well, I mean, DAMN.  (don't judge me, okay? he's...he's... pretty....and....and....just don't judge, you....)

okay.  no more Damon ridiculousness.
probably.  but.... O_O