Chick With a Camera Makes a Request

Dear Sir and/or Madam and/or All Four Hundred and Eighty Seven of your Progeny:

I am absolutely delighted that you have come out to enjoy this festival/museum/cultural showcase today and/or tonight.  Isn't it a grand spectacle of what humanity is capable of when everyone works together?  Yes, indeed. That being said, I did have one or two little things I'd like to request of you:

1)  Might it be possible for you NOT to slam into me/roll over me with your oversized purse/stroller/child-in-arms/purchases?  I'd love to go home today without bruises.  Injury should never be a part of anyone's weekend plans.

2)  It does require a bit of distance to photograph most objects.  I am trying to be as respectful of everyone's desire to see everything as I possibly can.  Heaven forfend that I become a nuisance.  Could I gently ask that you not dart in front of me two or three times AFTER YOU LOOK AT ME when I have the camera raised to my eye to take the photograph?  This will make me want to do you bodily violence much less.

3)  Just a general rule in all public situations, do you think you could possibly make sure your children aren't running loose and, oh, say climbing the stairs into forbidden and dangerous machinery past the clearly-marked off boundaries in a second-floor shop in an old factory while you are deeply involved in discussion of such world-shattering matters as the upcoming football game?  I really feel that it should be beyond my responsibilities to reclaim toddlers from the gaping maw of death.  Well, at least on a weekend.

4)  I am perfectly willing to wait for you to finish up your exploration of today's exhibitions as I wish to be as unobtrusive with my hobby as possible.  I might just gently ask, though, that you don't congregate in front of major objects of interest in order to use your cellphone, eat, talk about the upcoming football game/weather/your last surgery/Mamaw/etc., admire your offspring or the offspring of others, or plan further stops on your excursion, or all of the above.  One or two tiny steps to the side as a courtesy are much appreciated.

5)  Everyone knows that parking at a major event is a stressful hassle, especially if you don't wish to walk very far.  However, one should never be in such a total frothing panic to claim a space that one is willing to BACK OVER a pedestrian, especially when one has LOOKED AT said pedestrian for thirty seconds or so before putting the vehicle in reverse.  And no, kind sir, your age does not excuse you.

Thank you for your generous consideration.  A little more courtesy will keep us all harmonious and happy (and me from having to wreck on you in public in such a way that would make my students all proud).

Sincerely,
The Chick with the Camera