When Did It All Become War?

All I do these days is put out fires and wage war.  This is not what it was supposed to be.  This is never what I imagined doing with my life.  It makes me physically ill, this running from emergency to emergency.  There are these deceptive periods of peace when the klaxons are silent, and I think, "Wow.  Finally.  I can put away these weapons at last.  The last of the enemies has been vanquished.  It's done.  It was hard, but maybe it was worth it now that we can just move on and all the stupidity is over."  That's when the bottom always drops out.

I get lied to directly.  This makes me unable to trust...well, anybody really.  I keep looking for the hand that will come with a slap behind the complement.  Because let me assure you, friends and neighbors, in my experience, it's always, always coming.  Everybody hurts you eventually.  They just do it for different reasons at different times.  It never gets any easier.  Some of it is forgivable; some of it is not.  The decision to pick up the pieces and go on or throw out what's left is just another kind of fight.

There are other battles, too, ones I probably created for myself, others caused by misunderstanding, pride, and a lack of communication, but I am too tired to untangle the Gordian knot of it all.  Then there are the fights I can't win at all, the ones where everybody involved just loses and loses and loses....  It hurts.  It all hurts unbearably.

I would like a storyline where when the thing is defeated it stays dead.  I am tired of reoccurring villains.

I would like a storyline where I have some sidekicks or a co-hero.  I am tired of fighting it all always alone.

Screw it.  If I'm wishing, just give me a happy ending already.  Much more of this, and all you're going to get out of me is pure Shakespearean drama, no kisses or crowns, just that pile of corpses left at the end....