Haterade

I imagine one of the reasons people cling to their hates so stubbornly is because they sense, once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with pain. ~James Baldwin

hatred bounces ~e.e. cummings

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I have had to deal with hatefulness all day long.  It's a mark of teenagers to sling insults at each other as casually as breathing.  This is a form of basic communication, almost like echo-location, I've decided.  Most of the time, there is actually little malice in it.  I still don't like it, and for the most part shut it down as soon as it starts in my room.  I have lost track of the number of times I've actually had to say, "Don't bring 'Yo mama' in my classroom.  We have other things to do."  I have a sign that says "Be Nice or Leave" hanging, and I believe in that policy.  It is sort of the rule of my room.  

Whenever that negativity starts, it seems to escalate and amplify with rabid speed.  The whole nature of a room changes.  I hate it.  There were two separate instances of it today.  Although I kept the students after class and dealt with it privately, I still have the migraine traces of it lingering, and I am tired.  It sucks the joy right out of a whole class for me.  I love these kids, and I want their best, not this other.

I wish I could better show them how their behavior affects others.  I know they are young and they just DON'T think, but there are so many cases when people are hurting and hiding it, and comments made are just daggers cutting away at them.  I am not necessarily referring to the situations at hand today.  I am just thinking now about life in general.  Why can't we be more careful with each other?  Why does it seem that we constantly choose the jeering ridicule when it would be just as easy to give a word of support?  Why can't we lift a hand to support instead of slap down?  It's the same hand, isn't it?  Don't we control it, tell it what to do?  Isn't the gesture equally easy?  Wouldn't it actually feel better not to hurt someone, to help them instead?  To create a friend instead of an enemy?

One of the worst parts of this job at times is feeling like nothing I do is getting through.  When I see them treat each other with such casual contempt and disrespect for the basic humanity in each other, it makes me so very sad.  While part of me hopes they will just "grow out of it," another part of me is afraid that they won't.  What will society lose, what will they lose themselves as individuals, if that is the case?