Holding On and Letting Go

If I can just make it through today...
If I can just make it through today...

This is my little mantra.

The weekend is going to be chock-full of awesome.  Two days in Birmingham and Punch Brothers again await me, but I have to wade through one more day of ridiculous crap.  I didn't see it coming yesterday; it blindsided me.  All of a sudden, I was awash in something horrid.

I know how to deal with it now, but at the time, it caught me like a riptide and pulled me away from myself.  I've been in the situation before.  The only thing to do is just get away from the attitude that causes it.  It won't be easy, but like I said, I've had lots and lots of practice.

In a way, though, what happened also helps me to let go.  That inexplicable rudeness just makes it easier for me to see things objectively, clears away emotional ties to the situation as a whole.  Until I can make sure of my direction, I will just stay away from that individual altogether.  I can't understand what the problem is there, and to be perfectly honest, I just have too many other things that I need to focus on to untangle it.

I also need to keep telling myself that it is really only one or two people and only one or two little parts of my day.  It isn't that much.  Into everyone's life a little crap must fall, probably.  It was just so unnecessary, so seemingly arbitrary, and, well, so rude.  I hate rudeness.   Anyway.

Holding on and letting go.  It's a paradox, simultaneously contradictory and true.  My life is made up of this right now.  I yearn for the day when there are not so many contradictions in every hour.