I'm having very weird dreams again. D. is in them. I haven't dreamed about D. or even thought about him, really, in ages. What is dragging that corpse up now? He's sitting in every dream I have, though, smug, smiling that same old smile, dispensing his own personal brand of concern and advice, even though I don't want to hear it even in dreamland. I'm going to assume it's the Topamax dosage change dredging up deeply buried layers of crapola and hope that he goes away again soon. I cannot imagine why else I would possibly have him in my head. It is not comfortable for him to be there. It just NEVER ends.
I uploaded a great many of my poems, etc., to my Google Docs locker today as an extra measure of storage/backup, and also as a means to facilitate sharing them with a couple of people on occasion for this and that. As I did so, I was weeding through them, rereading them, and it struck me again how long its been since I really sat down and wrote consistently. I am hoping very much that this summer, for a variety of reasons, will mark a turning point in that pattern. One, hopefully I won't be exhausted all the time. Two, I will be travelling, and I always write better when I am. Three, I will have a little time to produce. Maybe that happy combination will break the lock of silence that has been sitting so heavily on my Muse. The few things I've produced over the last year or so have not been terrible, but....
It's late and tomorrow will come early. There is probably more to say, but for now, I'm headed off to the land of dreams and pray there are no ghosts from my past waiting on me there.
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And then you said.....