It has been the sort of day that began with a dead hair dryer and ended with watching a guy getting stalked in the Wal-Mart parking lot by a county sheriff in a Dodge Charger and subsequently arrested. You ever have that kind of day?
I broke up fights between people I never would have expected to quarrel mildly over issues that I never would have expected even to exist in this universe (or six parallel ones). I got told I couldn't be "shawty-bread" because I was too big. (Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have a hand-gesture for you...) I tried to restore peace and harmony to the universe. I taught Sylvia Plath. I tried to respect all persons and viewpoints, treat all as I would want to be treated, jump to no conclusions. I had no Diet Mountain Dew or caffeine of any kind to do it. That we all survived is a frakkin' miracle. I kept waiting for some TV fool to jump out of a turning of the hallways and tell me I was being "punked."
After it was all over, I went to Wal-Mart, replaced the hair dryer, bought a LOT of Diet Mountain Dew, got something fantastic for dinner (eggplant parm I didn't have to slave over a stove to eat), and shamelessly threw an entire package of red velvet mini-cupcakes into the cart as well. Tomorrow had damn well better be completely, totally, and utterly drama-free. Just in case it isn't, though, at least I will be going in armed.
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And then you said.....